Away, away, away

I've been rather lax about posting lately and shall continue being such for a while at least... I'm in Europe for a few weeks. I'll be up and about in the online world again after the 29th of December.

Cheers! (from England)

Workplace expression

The growth of diversity in the workplace, along with the influence of religion in America, has brought faith -- once as taboo in the office as talk of sex and politics -- to the job, experts say.

"Work is invading people's personal lives, so people are bringing more of their personal lives to the workplace," said Paula Brantner, director of Workplace Fairness, a Washington, D.C.-based group that promotes employee rights.

Religious expression at work may take the form of affinity groups or faith networks, prayers at business meetings or the citation of Biblical verse in office memos.

If people are going to be permitted to pray religion during business meetings, I certainly think I should be permitted to have sex on the conference tables during business meetings. I’d only be bringing my personal life to the workplace because work is invading my personal life… my personal life just involves less praying and more ‘laying.’

"We have an increase in the number of employers and employees who are choosing not to hide their faith," said Brad Dacus of the Pacific Justice Institute in Sacramento, California, which provides legal defense for religious freedoms.

- Religion finds firm footing in some offices

There is a difference between praying during business meetings and not “hiding” your faith. There are many things that I don’t hide that I wouldn’t do at business meetings (having sex on conference tables apparently isn’t one of these things). Being openly Christian is one thing; posting your Christianity at the top of business memos is another. You’re Christian. You like to pray. You like the Bible. We got it.

I don’t think any of this is a direct violation of Title 7 unless it affects hiring and promotions. However, I’d be much less likely to work for a company that had say, Bible study on its premises. Being a non-Christian minority in setting where openly Christian practices are acceptable makes it more difficult to navigate networking and promotions—somewhat like being a woman navigating the “old boys club” of some larger corporations. It’s not that religion itself makes me uncomfortable. I live in the Midwest of the United States. Religion, frankly, is all around. However, it would be lovely to keep theism entirely unlinked to my wages.

Values In Action (sans god)

My sig. other, Jason, recently found the VIA Inventory of Strengths, a fairly comprehensive self-reported assessment of “character strengths.” As he noted in an email to the site owners, spirituality, sense of purpose, and faith are merrily lumped together as one strength:

You have strong and coherent beliefs about the higher purpose and meaning of the universe. You know where you fit in the larger scheme. Your beliefs shape your actions and are a source of comfort to you.

If the phrase “the higher purpose and meaning of” were deleted, I’d label the above as a strength of mine. I don’t believe that there is “inherent purpose and meaning” in the universe, but I’m entirely fine with the idea that humans create meaning, and I have no trouble being a “good” person even without adding a touch of divinity to my perception of reality. My beliefs about the world and its inhabitants DO shape my actions and ARE a source of comfort to me. However, this strength was still in my bottom five out of 24 possible strengths, likely due to the following included questions:

20. I am a spiritual person.
44. I practice my religion.
68. My faith never deserts me in hard time.
140. My faith makes me who I am.
164. I believe that each person has a purpose in life.
236. I have a calling in life.
66. At least once a day, I stop to count my blessings.
162. I feel thankful for what I have received in life.
234. I have been richly blessed in life.
188. I believe in a universal power, a god.

The person who responded to Jason’s email explained that “VIA's approach to purpose and meaning is simple and does not require a bleif in God...it simply states that we find purpose when we set our signature strengths in play for a purpose greateer than our own self-interest. That could be for others or it could be for a higher power.” (shrugs) I suppose I still think that a sense of purpose shouldn’t be squashed between spirituality and faith. When I took the assessment, I actually tried to see where I could substitute some of my humanist principles for their more theistically worded ones, but it was still one of my lowest rank strengths. I suppose just couldn’t interpret religion, faith, faith, purpose, calling, blessings, received, blessed, universal power, and god liberally enough.

Then again, out of 24 potential strengths, “spirituality, sense of purpose, and faith” was actually only 20. What are the other strengths that I’m apparently even more lousy* at exercising?


21. Caution, prudence, and discretion

Yes… prudent would not be a word to use to describe me. For a rationalist, I’m awfully prone to living my own life as a series of leaps and whims. (shrugs)


22. Modesty and humility

Oh, come on… I’m definitely the most modest person I know! My friends tell me how modest I am all the time! It’s my definitely one of my many best qualities! ;)

Actually, another post I have in the works addresses “atheist arrogance.” It shall be up soon.


23. Citizenship, teamwork, and loyalty

Citizenship and loyalty definitely pulled my scored down on this one. I’m generally okay as a team player (though sometimes grumpy to be on a team in the first place), but I’m bad with the “special status” often given to the people and things honored with citizenship and loyalty.


24. Forgiveness and mercy

(coughs)

So don’t freakin’ mess with me. ;) Apparently, I hold grudges.


* I suppose I could have instead talked about the things that I’m good at but where is the fun in that? Anyway, I have to make strong efforts to raise my modesty score. Didn’t I do an excellent job?? (preens)

Back-Room Bones

Famed paleoanthropologist Richard Leakey is giving no quarter to powerful evangelical church leaders who are pressing Kenya's national museum to relegate to a back room its world-famous collection of hominid fossils showing the evolution of humans' early ancestors.

(skip a few paragraphs)

The museum's collections include the most complete skeleton yet found of Homo erectus, the 1.7-million-year-old Turkana Boy unearthed by Leakey's team in 1984 near Lake Turkana in northern Kenya.

The museum also holds bones from several specimens of Australopithecus anamensis, believed to be the first hominid to walk upright, four million years ago. Together the artifacts amount to the clearest record yet discovered of the origins of Homo sapiens.

Leaders of Kenya's Pentecostal congregation, with six million adherents, want the human fossils de-emphasized.

"The Christian community here is very uncomfortable that Leakey and his group want their theories presented as fact," said Bishop Bonifes Adoyo, head of the largest Pentecostal church in Kenya, the Christ is the Answer Ministries.

- Scientist Fights Church Effort to Hide Museum's Pre-Human Fossils

Well, Martin Luther is on your side at least: "Reason is the greatest enemy that faith has: it never comes to the aid of spritual things, but--more frequently than not --struggles against the divine Word, treating with contempt all that emanates from God." Definitely... hiding the evidence in a back room is the way to go. (nods) Wouldn't want anyone to use that nasty reason stuff.

Buy Nothing Day

A group of Santa Clauses were on strike on one of Vienna's main shopping avenues in honor of "Buy Nothing Day," an international initiative to counter consumerist attitudes ahead of the Christmas season.

"Today is Buy Nothing Day, allow yourself a break," ten Santas, in full garb with red felt jackets and fake beards, told shoppers on Vienna's Mariahilferstrasse.

(skip a few paragraphs)

Instead of the usual presents, the "striking" Santa Clauses doled out advice about environmentally safe washing products and energy-saving lamps, and encouraged people to spend time with their families rather than just buy expensive gifts.

- Santa Clauses on strike in Vienna on "Buy Nothing Day"

Petition

We, the undersigned, call upon elected and appointed officials to join us in reaffirming America's religious freedom by demonstrating a commitment to the following:

• Every American should have the right to make personal decisions -- about family life, reproductive health, end of life care and other matters of personal conscience.
• American tax dollars should not go to charities that discriminate in hiring based on religious belief or that promote a particular religious faith as a requirement for receiving services.
• Political candidates should not be endorsed or opposed by houses of worship.
• Public schools should teach with academic integrity and without the promotion of religious preference or belief.
• Decisions about scientific and health policies should be based on the best available scientific data, not on religious doctrine.

We join together, as the most diverse nation in the world, to commit ourselves to defending and preserving this freedom.

First Freedom First’s above petition is just shy of the 50,000 signatures they hope to gather by the end of the week. Haven’t signed yet and want to? Visit their web site http://www.firstfreedomfirst.org/.

Mmmm... Worms...

Did you know that every day 150,000 people die? People just like you and me. Every 24 hours 150,000 people pass from time into eternity. Do you ever think about that? Isn’t there something within you that says, ‘I don’t want to die?’ That’s your god given will to live.

So says one of the floating, talking men of The Way of the Master.

I tried their 10-commandments quiz and am thrilled announce that I’m actually not doing as badly as one might imagine! First, the negatives:

• I certainly take the name of god in vain, though generally only in bed.


• I sometimes work seven-day weeks, thus violating whichever Sabbath you might chose to declare holy.


• I may have dishonored my parents on several occasions as a teenager.


• I have committed adultery. Well, only if you count the sex-before-marriage sort. However, this seems to be a popular sort to count.


• I have lied on occasion (“Yes Suzie, I loooooove your new haircut”).


• I have coveted, among other things, a bagel one of my students was eating in front of me at work last Sunday. What can I say- I was hungry.

So, I’m not entirely biblically pure. However, it’s really not all bad news.

• I can honestly state that I haven’t put any other gods before “god.” I don’t believe in any of ‘em, so there is no need for deity prioritizing.


• I haven’t committed idolatry. This is another benefit of atheism.


• I haven’t stolen.


• I haven’t murdered…. though if thoughts could kill, I might be answering this one a bit differently.

In summary, I have only violated 6 of the 10 commandments, leaving me 40% biblically pure. That’s probably the most chaste I’ve scored on an Internet purity test yet.

Also on this site is a video describing how to convert an atheist. The cool floaty men (though in this video they are sitting rather than floating) oh-so-pretentiously describe their method as “bait and hook.” The bait draws the atheist into the conversation by framing the debate in rational terms. Apparently, logic is to atheists as worms are to fish. Then, once the atheist is happily munching on his or her juicy worm, BOOM, comes the hook, the emotional draw of GUILT in the form of the Ten Commandments. It’s something like this: logic, designer, cars, Ten Commandments, stealing, lying, YOU’RE BAD, guilt, fear, DEATH.

Unfortunately, even the possibly pretend atheists in the video didn’t really seem to reel in perfectly nicely, though they were significantly less eloquent than most real atheists I know (note: a lapsed Christian is not the same as an atheist). Apparently, atheists (even pretend ones) are adept at picking the worms off the hook before swallowing ‘em. Or perhaps they’re just getting their worms from other sources. (shrugs) Something like that. Either way, definitely go check out the videos at The Way of the Master. Just watch for those pesky hooks!

(cross posted at The Atheist Mama)

Save (Same-Sex) Marriage

Romney said he would file a legal action this week asking a justice of the Supreme Judicial Court to direct the secretary of state to place the question on the ballot if lawmakers don't vote directly on the question Jan. 2, the final day of the session.

Romney, an opponent of gay marriage who decided not to seek re-election as he considers running for president, made his announcement to the cheers of hundreds of gay marriage opponents at a rally on the Statehouse steps.

I’m constantly amazed at the gaggle of “gay marriage opponents” that rally oh-so often. Don’t they have something, anything better to worry about?

"One of the tenets of the Constitution is that you do not put the rights of a minority up for a popularity contest," said Mark Solomon, campaign director of Mass Equality, a pro-gay marriage group. "It is one of the very principles this country was founded upon."

- Mass. governor wants gay wedding vote

Indeed.

Since change is allllwwwaaaayssss bad, I think it clearly falls on the conservatives to protest Romney’s radial decision to redefine the current definition of marriage in the state of Massachusetts.

Impending Floods in Africa

Africans cheer, condemn S.Africa gay marriage bill

By Phumza Macanda Wed Nov 15, 10:25 AM ET

JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) - Africans reacted with a mix of horror and delight at news South Africa had passed a bill to legalize gay marriage, making it the first to do so on a continent where homosexuality is still largely taboo.

South Africa passes a bill to legalize same-sex marriage. We, on the other hand, have our panties in such a twist about same-sex marriage that 27 out of 50 states have amended their constitutions to define marriage as between a man and a woman.

This isn't to say that everyone in Africa approves of such:

"This is a foreign action imposed on Africa," Islamist leader Sheikh Sharif Ahmed told Reuters in Mogadishu, the capital of Somalia, where powerful Islamists control the south of the country.

"This is not something that is indigenous to Africa, it is something that has come from abroad."

and

Gay rights groups applauded the decision as a step forward for Africa. But some in deeply religious Africa lambasted the decision as "un-African" and immoral.

Not to mention that Africa certainly has its own Pat-Robertson-type-thinkers:

Taxi driver Nicklaus Mwanaseri in the Tanzanian capital of Dar es Salam said the decision to allow gays to wed was so immoral that it signified the world was coming to an end.

"I see a big flood coming soon because of going against God's teaching," he said.

Atheism with a Smile

I spent part of last Saturday working a shift at my local humanist group’s booth at the Columbus International Festival. I expected to enjoy it, but I was surprised by just how extremely happy I was to be sitting underneath a humanist banner, smiling at visitors, and stamping their festival “passports.” I really love situations where I can be openly non-theistic, especially without feeling as if I’m directly pushing on someone else’s belief system. I love the chance to portray atheism with a just smile rather than an argument.

There are valuable fights in the political sphere; there are lawsuits to be filed and debates to be won. I’m all for aggressively protecting our right to not be governed by others’ superstitions, of whatever variety. However, this sometimes feels like fighting symptoms rather than a root cause.

I think in the end we’ll come closer to winning the larger battle against superstition when a lack of theism becomes… well… normal in the eyes of the general population. It’s not always viable to be “out” in all spheres of life and I admire those who are more open about being atheist than I am. While I never pretend to be Christian, I’m also not interested in antagonizing myself out of my income and certainly wouldn’t consider myself “out” in the community where I run my small business. However, I think the more we can each do to expand the number of spheres where we feel comfortable expressing our lack of theism, the better off we’ll be as a whole.

The more often we drop the phrases atheist, non-theist, humanist, separation of church and state, and freedom from religion into everyday conversation, the more listeners become conditioned to hearing them. Those who know individual atheists are less likely to be nervous by us as a group. The more people who see us smile, laugh, work, raise children, vote, volunteer, eat pudding, and simply live, the more atheism becomes a non-threatening, viable, visible alternative to theism.

(cross posted at The Atheist Mama)

Deer, Oh Dear

On my way from work to tango yesterday, I managed to hit a deer. For over four years, I lived in the middle of the woods where deer and other various critters abound, yet managed to never hit one. Really. I even dodged toads in rainy weather. Then, on the edge of the city I now live in, BOOM, a deer! On my car! Ek!

Okay, I’m done whining. However, I see this as a serious drain on my “getting what is coming to me” fund and thus require a Democratic sweep at tomorrow’s election to make up for the physical (well, to my car and the deer) and emotional (ahhh!) trauma of last night. (nods) All interested higher powers should take note and act accordingly. If Democrats do win both the House and the Senate, it shall be known throughout the land that sacrificing a deer (and an insurance record) is the proper way to metaphysically rig an election.

Smmmmear

Millions spent on negative political ads
By JIM KUHNHENN, Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON - So far this campaign, the political parties have exposed voters to nearly $160 million in ads attacking congressional candidates. How much spent painting a positive image? About $17 million.

And how much spent on actually informing voters of your actual views on actual issues? I’d imagine that amount could be labeled as proportionally infinitesimal.

Negative ads are the coin of the realm in politics. With one week left in the campaign, voters will continue to be bombarded on television, in the mail and over the phone as political strategists make their closing arguments to a shrinking pool of those who haven't made up their minds.

I don’t really watch TV and thus don’t have to subject myself to such on a regular basis. For the few shows I do watch, my significant other has purchased some sort of magical fast-forward feature that allows me to not watch commercials. Ever. It’s an advertiser’s nightmare, but certainly keeps me significantly saner.

Anyway, even taking into account my extreme inexperience with the gamut of television ad techniques, I can still see a clear difference between:

The NRCC tried to place an ad in New York against Democrat Michael Arcuri, the district attorney in Oneida County, accusing him of calling a sex hotline while on county business. But records show that the call to the 800 number lasted only seconds and that the number has the same last seven digits as the phone number for the state Department of Criminal Justice Services. The Arcuri campaign said a colleague of Arcuri's mistakenly placed the call.

and

One ad airing in Pennsylvania cites October as the bloodiest month in Iraq and accuses Republican incumbent Rep. Jim Gerlach of blindly following Bush.

- Millions spent on negative political ads

Come on now. A misdialed number? We can get over this, yes? Please?
As for the negative ads linking Republicans and Bush… well… erm… you are pretty linked, eh? If you don’t wished to be linked with Bush's policies, you may wish to not support his policies that you don’t wish to be linked to. This brings me to my second point: critiquing policy decisions is not in itself smear. It's an essential part of democracy. Building strawmen out policy decisions (or random phone calls), on the other hand, is indeed smear.

***

On a more positive note, I love Project Vote Smart’s NPAT, which allows voters to view the self-report positions on a wide variety of issues, from abortion to election funding to health care to the war on drugs. Unfortunately, many politicians refuse to complete the survey (let the voters know how we actually feel about actual issues? Heaven forbid!). However, with continued pressure from voters I have confidence that this can continue to be a value tool to assess what candidates actually belief… rather than just how they feel about their oppenent's alleged phone calls.

Update: Don’t Throw Away Your Holy Water Yet!

Below is Anton’s analysis of why Costas Efthimiou’s mathematical proof (a few posts down) of the impossibility of vampires is terribly flawed. It was just too amusing to waste away as a simple comment.

Fine, fine, let's play along.

What could be holding down vampiric reproduction? A lower percentage of victims becoming vampires, certainly--maybe most just die, or recover after looking pale and consumptive for a few days. But that would only decrease the natural reproductive rate, and the population would still increase exponentially...we need density-dependent effects.

Perhaps the per-vampire vampirization rate decreases as the number of vampires increases. For one thing, it makes it more likely that several vampires would happen to bite the same person each month (assuming the bites aren't individually fatal), thus only producing one new vampire instead of several. Also, any vampire-resistance alleles are going to be selected for in the local human population, so that over time more and more people are born with an uncontrollable love of garlic, cross-shaped stigmata, etc., making them unsuitable prey.

But an increased vampire mortality (er, re-mortality) rate is probably the biggest culprit. We all know that when you put two vampires in a room for long enough, they'll probably try to kill each other. This is observable in Anne Rice novels, American movies and comic books and Japanese ones, hence must be true. Beyond casualties of direct conflict, the necessary lightless areas for daytime snoozing (warehouses, catacombs and so forth) will become overcrowded, forcing the weaker vampires to cobble together back-alley sunshades from cardboard and newspapers, only to spontaneously combust when a gust of wind or plummeting pigeon corpse lets in a few sunbeams.

Finally, exceptional levels of bloodsuckery can't fail to alert the more observant humans, and in the end warrior priests, Belmont family members, renegade half-vampires, superpowered cheerleaders and so forth will converge on the area. They'll return vampire populations to their normal levels in an orgy of violence that just barely misses the NC-13 rating (because, although people's brains are pulled out of their eye sockets in slow motion, no one is shown in the shower.)

There! I disproved his silly claim the long and rigorous way. Needless to say, with a name like "Costas Efthimiou," he's obviously just trying to cover up the existence of his fellow stalkers of the night.

(nods) I knew I was right to buy the extra-large bottle of minced garlic.

Abstinence-Only Reasoning

Abstinence message goes beyond teens

By Sharon Jayson, USA TODAY
The federal government's "no sex without marriage" message isn't just for kids anymore.

Now the government is targeting unmarried adults up to age 29 as part of its abstinence-only programs, which include millions of dollars in federal money that will be available to the states under revised federal grant guidelines for 2007.

(blinks)

(blinks)

(blinks)

(blinks)

(blinks)

So, essentially, to prevent 20 to 29 year olds from having children, we are going to spend money on NOT telling them how to prevent having children. What a brilliant plan!

"The message is 'It's better to wait until you're married to bear or father children,' " Horn said. "The only 100% effective way of getting there is abstinence."

Yes, and the only 100% effective way of preventing car accidents is to not drive. Life is about calculated risks. My calculated risks include various sorts of birth control. Thus far, I've had better luck with preventing pregnancy than preventing car accidents.

For last year's state grants, Congress appropriated $50 million. A similar amount is expected for 2007, but the money has not yet been allocated, according to the Administration for Children and Families. - Abstinence message goes beyond teens

(sighs)

This just raises the idoicy of abstitence only sex-education by a few more points.


****

On a more positive note:

New Jersey announced last week that it will not accept $800,000 in federal funds to teach abstinence-only sex education. Sex education programs in states that receive the federal funds are not allowed to teach students about contraception, must describe sex before marriage as “potentially mentally and physically damaging,” and must teach that “sex within marriage is ‘the expected standard of sexual activity’,” the Associated Press and Kaiser Daily Women’s Health Policy report. According to the Associated Press, New Jersey officials wrote in a letter to Health and Human Services Secretary Michael Leavitt that the requirements tied to the federal money violate the state’s sex education and AIDS education programs.

- NJ Says No to Abstinence-Only Sex Ed

Mercy Me!

He said that it was his belief that God first intervened to spare his life in 1973, amid rioting in Belfast, when he found himself stranded with two of his men in a Loyalist paramilitary area.

A hail of gunfire cut down the other soldiers, fatally injuring one, while Sir Richard emerged unscathed.

The second incident took place during a mine-clearing operation in South Armagh in 1975, when an explosion killed his company commander, Major Peter Willis. Sir Richard had been walking alongside him moments before but had stopped to study an aerial photograph.

The general's third brush with death came a few months later in Germany when he fell asleep at the wheel of a car but was fortunate to veer off into a field rather than into a steep bank and wood which bordered the route 200 yards further on.

"On three occasions, God had shown me his love and his protection and had challenged me to make a complete commitment to him, but on each occasion I had failed to make the response that he wanted from me," said Sir Richard, who is vice-president of the Officers' Christian Union.

- God saved me from death three times, says Army chief

Goodness. Apparently, god wasn't so fond of the two who were killed in his presence.

The thing about near-death experiences is that the ones who live to tell about it... are... well... the ones who live to tell about it. It's much harder for the dead to lament god's lack of mercy.

Another panel this Friday

Any and all Aviaa groupies (okay, I don’t have groupies--- I just pretend I do) are invited to come see me participate in (a third) “Godless by Choice” panel at First Unitarian Universalist Church in Columbus this Friday at 7:30 pm. Seeing as the first two panels were conducted for freethought groups, a UU Church might actually qualify as a comparatively hostile audience! Okay, probably not hostile (even comparatively). However, I am looking forward to fielding questions from a wider variety of perspectives.

Another reason to love math…

A researcher has come up with some simple math that sucks the life out of the vampire myth, proving that these highly popular creatures can't exist.

University of Central Florida physics professor Costas Efthimiou's work debunks pseudoscientific ideas, such as vampires and zombies, in an attempt to enhance public literacy. Not only does the public believe in such topics, but the percentages are at dangerously high level, Efthimiou told LiveScience.

Legend has it that vampires feed on human blood and once bitten a person turns into a vampire and starts feasting on the blood of others.

Efthimiou's debunking logic: On Jan 1, 1600, the human population was 536,870,911. If the first vampire came into existence that day and bit one person a month, there would have been two vampires by Feb. 1, 1600. A month later there would have been four, and so on. In just two-and-a-half years the original human population would all have become vampires with nobody left to feed on.

- Vampires a Mathematical Impossibility, Scientist Says

Note the awwwwwful pun in the first sentence of the article. I fully approve. ;)

Mis-Representation

I recently moved and thus switched congressional representatives. Seeing as my former representative was Bob Ney of the recent Abramoff scandals, I really didn’t see much potential for going anywhere but up. Then, over the weekend, I received the following letter:

Dear Mrs. Warner:

Thank you for contracting me in support of H.R. 2679, the Public Expression of Religion Act (PERA). It was good to hear from you.

On September 26, 2006, the House of Representatives passed, with my support, the Public Expression of Religion Act of 2005. Introduced by Congressman John Hostettler (R-IN), H.R. 2679 ensures local officials and communities do not face financial ruin to defend their rights to free speech under the Constitution. The legislation provides that when state or local officials are sued over public expressions of religion, no monetary damages, costs, or attorney’s fees may be awarded. This bill is now pending in the United States Senate. As such, I would encourage you to contact our Senators, Mike DeWine and George Voinovich, to express your support.

Again, thank you for being in touch. Please continue to let me know when I can be of assistance.

Sincerely,

David L. Hobson
Member of Congress

(blinks)

(blinks)

(blinks)

I wrote to Mr. Hobson about PERA, but I sure as hell didn’t write to him expressing my SUPPORT of the bill. It’s not that I’m angry that he voted for the measure (though it frustrates me). I’m angry because it in no way appears that he (or some random staff member) actually read the contents of my letter.

I’m going to have to carefully consider which representative I prefer: openly corrupt Mr. Ney, who would personally speak to me on the phone yet generally make, in my opinion, poor voting decisions or Mr. Hobson who apparently doesn’t actually read my letters but instead just assumes that if I’m writing about PERA, I must be supporting it. (sighs)

PS. It’s Ms. Warner not Mrs. Warner. Whatever. We'll take this one step at a time: first you start reading the content of my letters, then we'll talk prefixes.

Knock-knock!

An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout "PRAISE THE LORD!"

Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, "There ain`t no Lord!!"

Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for GOD to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted "PRAISE THE LORD. GOD I NEED FOOD!! I AM HAVING A HARD TIME. PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME GROCERIES!!"

The next morning the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD."

The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, "Aha! I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries, God didn`t."

The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and said, "PRAISE THE LORD. He not only sent me groceries, but He made the devil pay for them. PRAISE THE LORD!"

In my last post, I promised to start this post with a knock-knock joke. As you have likely realized, the above joke is not of the knock-knock variety. There is a knock-knock joke in the post... but not until the very end. The above joke was included to tide you over and prevent unnecessary incidences of bad-joke withdrawal.

(clears throat)

Regardless, speaking of believing what we want to believe:

The Rev. Ron Carlson, a popular author and lecturer, sometimes presents his audience with two stories and asks them whether it matters which one is true.

In the secular account, "You are the descendant of a tiny cell of primordial protoplasm washed up on an empty beach 3 1/2 billion years ago. You are a mere grab bag of atomic particles, a conglomeration of genetic substance. You exist on a tiny planet in a minute solar system in an empty corner of a meaningless universe. You came from nothing and are going nowhere."

In the Christian view, by contrast, "You are the special creation of a good and all-powerful God. You are the climax of His creation. Not only is your kind unique, but you are unique among your kind. Your Creator loves you so much and so intensely desires your companionship and affection that He gave the life of His only son that you might spend eternity with him."

First of all… STRAW MAN and FALSE DICHOTOMY!

(blinks and readjusts self to former state of calm dignity)

Truth isn’t a popularity contest. Sure, it sounds pretty to live in a world where meaning and goodness are predefined by a wrinkled man with a beard. However, wanting to believe something (i.e. your pet bunny Foo Foo will never die) doesn’t make it an accurate representation of reality (rabbits have a life-span of approximately eight years and, to date, there has never been a recorded instance of an immortal rabbit).

I have no problem with the concept of making meaning. It’s like the life-review equivalent of good writing techniques; you sort through the mess of details of an event to identify, define, and present the essentials. However, when we decide try to randomly ascribe cause to our selected sentences, we’ve crossed the line from good technique to bad logic.

The article quoted above then moves to the ever-popular hobby of atheist bashing:

Across the globe, religious faith is thriving and religious people are having more children. By contrast, atheist conventions only draw a handful of embittered souls, and the atheist lifestyle seems to produce listless tribes that cannot even reproduce themselves.

Have you ever been to an atheist convention? I have, and between the engaging speakers, dinners with crowds of participants, and dancing at a three level club, there wasn’t time to be embittered. Sure, sure, atheists should continue to work to improve their general PR. However, the false idea of atheists being uniformly dour and boring is perpetuated mainly by articles and misrepresentations like this.

Lacking the strong Christian identity that produced its greatness, atheist Europe seems to be a civilization on its way out. We have met Nietzsche's "last man" and his name is Sven.

(blinks) Was the greatness you were referring to simple imperialism or to the tendency of the Christian Europeans of the past to murder and enslave the “heathen” natives they would encounter?

Based on my experiences, I’m pretty sure the more secular version of European civilization isn’t on its way out. We’ve already established that you’ve likely not attended an atheist convention. Have you been to Europe?

The real difference is that in the past, children were valued as gifts from God, and now they are viewed by many people as instruments of self-gratification. The old principle was, "Be fruitful and multiply." The new one is, "Have as many children as enhance your lifestyle."

Or, “we have access to birth control and careers and thus have other options to pursue if we wish.” Not to mention, “seeing as the world population continues to grow and we have limited resources, it doesn’t seem like such a tragedy if some people chose to have one or even (heaven forbid) no children.”

The prophets of the disappearance of religion seem to have proven themselves to be false prophets. Even though the world is becoming richer, religion seems to be getting stronger. The United States is the richest and most technologically advanced society in the world, and religion shows no signs of disappearing on these shores.

Richest?? Well, perhaps if you ignore Luxemborg and Norway. Then again, they are part of that silly, declining Europe, so we can just ignore them anyway.

My conclusion is that it is not religion but atheism that requires a Darwinian explanation. It seems perplexing why nature would breed a group of people who see no purpose to life or the universe, indeed whose only moral drive seems to be sneering at their fellow human beings who do have a sense of purpose.

No darling, I just sneer at people who write poorly researched articles accusing atheists of having no moral purpose.

Here is where the biological expertise of Dawkins and his friends could prove illuminating. Maybe they can turn their Darwinian lens on themselves and help us understand how atheism, like the human tailbone and the panda's thumb, somehow survived as an evolutionary leftover of our primitive past.

- God knows why faith is thriving by Dinesh D'Souza.

Yes, logic is clearly a vestigial trait.

***

Oh, and...

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

(silence)

(silence)

(silence)

(peers outside at the friendly darkness)

(shrugs)

Who's there? Well, nothing supernatural as far as I can see, but is that really so scary?

(shrugs)

I'm okay with getting my meaning from humanity and my groceries from my neighbor.

(cross posted at The Atheist Mama)

Dust in the Wind

(I realize this is a decidedly uncheerful topic. I promise to not only make the next post more cheerful, but also to start it with a knock-knock joke as a bit of compensation.)

During a terminally ill patient’s less lucid moments, he’d reach his arms up to the ceiling, ignoring everyone around him, the nurse at the head of the table explained. Eventually, when he was awake, he informed his family that he was reaching up to god and that they shouldn’t disturb him during these moments. Everyone around the table nodded approvingly. The nurse recounted another story, where a staff member’s grandfather, “a very bad man”, started yelling that his feet were burning as he lay dying in his hospital bed. Everyone around the table gasped and looked properly horrified. We all had ours stories to tell, of inspiring or scary end of life experiences, and everyone was able to happily file away the information as further evidence of the afterlife planned by a Christian god.

Well, everyone except me.

I’m five weeks into a seven week training program for a local non-profit Hospice and, as the only atheist (actually, as the only non-Christian), periodically find myself squirming in my seat in the unable-to-identify-yet-unwilling-to-dissent sort of uncomfortable that comes from being part of an often distrusted minority. My New Year’s resolution of this year was to be more outspoken, and one of the ways I’ve attempted to do so is by being more open about my lack-of-theism. However, sitting around that table, I was entirely uncomfortable with the idea of expressing my own interpretations of those stories and I instead just squirmed silently.

I can’t think of a moment where atheism is more of a challenge to a Christian belief system than when it comes to death and the concept of an afterlife. When considering heaven and hell, Christians can’t brush us off as just a misinterpretation, as they might other varieties of Christianity, Judaism, or even less related religions, such as Islam or Hinduism. Atheism isn’t just another version of theism, but instead a direct rejection of the biblical idea of the afterlife. This is a touchy subject when it comes to loved ones who people desperately want to believe “live on.”

I’m not scared of death. Certainly, I’m in favor of living. However, the thought of slipping into an unknown doesn’t terrify me; it just gives me incentive to live more deeply and savor the time I do have. I’m okay with not knowing what might come after death, even if, as I think is likely, it’s nothing at all. It’s a question that I’m willing to leave unanswered, for the moment at least. Deciding whether to be vocal when others come up with answers that I find implausible? Now, that’s more of an immediate challenge.

I think that after I move past the training and into the volunteering itself, it should be less complicated. My goal is to be a Hospice volunteer specifically for nonreligious families, because I think the end of life concerns and questions are a bit different. It would perhaps be a bit easier for a terminally-ill freethinker to talk about this with a fellow freethinker rather than even a well-intentioned believer.

My questions to you: as atheists, what are your views towards death and dying? Do you feel the end of life issues and inquiries are different for an atheist than for a believer? How can we provide support to terminally-ill atheists? Finally, have you had situations where you’ve discussed dying with theists? How have you handled these discussions? I’d appreciate any input.

(cross posted at The Atheist Mama)

Guest Blogging & Vincent Van Goat

I’m going to be one of fiver guest bloggers at www.theatheistmama.com while Cassandra is off vacationing and meeting with Richard Dawkins on his God Delusion tour. Seeing as the closest I will get to Richard Dawkins is his appearance on the Colbert Report I recorded last night, I had the urge to be terribly jealous. I believe I have quelled said urge.

Cassandra is a member of my local humanist group and THE Atheist Mama. She’s a stay at home mom with two boys and is quite active in the online atheist community. See, I said all nice things, so I must have quelled my jealousy. Or perhaps Cassandra is just too nifty to not write nifty things about and I’m still horribly jealous. One or the other.

Anyway, as an atheist who is entirely childless, I’ve decided my main qualification to contribute to a blog entitled “The Atheist Mama” is that I formerly owned two lovely pet goats, Vincent and Thyme. Parenting “kids” of the goat variety from an atheist standpoint is, indeed, a challenge. I’m proud to say I worked hard to ensure both knew of my feelings towards religious law, and I believe they took my explanations to heart. A heartening tale: one afternoon, as I was waving around a Gideon’s while lecturing Vincent on the dangers of mixing church and state, he reached over and took a bite straight out of Leviticus! Take that vultures- and- mildew- and- the- many- sorts- of- people- you- aren’t- supposed- to- have- sex- with- related passages!

(Okay, so, the story in the above paragraph is indeed fabricated. Well, except for the part about having goats. I did have pet goats who would frequently consume paper products.)

I am no longer a “goat parent”, as they began eating my house and I was forced to give them away. I believe that giving away your kids for such reasons is generally considered poor parenting, but we all have our limits, eh? I shall still draw from my extensive goat parenting knowledge when guest blogging. Or something like that.

Above silliness aside, I’ll be posting at www.theatheistmama.com periodically from October 20th to the 29th. Please stop by!

Shocking News: Manipulating Statistics Leads to Largely Irrelevant Claims

Child molestation and pedophilia occur far more commonly among homosexuals than among heterosexuals on a per capita basis, according to a new study.
"Overwhelming evidence supports the belief that homosexuality is a sexual deviancy often accompanied by disorders that have dire consequences for our culture," wrote Steve Baldwin in, "Child Molestation and the Homosexual Movement," soon to be published by the Regent University Law Review.
Baldwin is the executive director of the Council for National Policy in Washington, D.C.

Oh! Oh! Shocking! Homosexuals! Evil! Dire consequences for culture! Save the children! (swoons)

Well, except:

Jay Heavener, spokesman for PFLAG – Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, counters that federal crime data refute claims that homosexuals molest children at higher rates than heterosexuals.

(skip a few paragraphs)

In terms of sheer numbers, that may be true. But in terms of numbers of children abused per offender, homosexuals abuse with far greater frequency; and boys, research shows, are the much-preferred target.

Report: Pedophilia more common among 'gays', Research purports to reveal 'dark side' of homosexual culture

(blinks)

That’s not the same. Per capita per OFFENDER? Come on. Your opening sentence just said per capita. Misleading much?

I’m also confused as to what I’m supposed to do with this information. Perhaps what you are trying to say is that homosexuals as a group (NOT just homosexual offenders as a group) have a per capita rate of molesting children that is higher than the same heterosexual rate. Except you don’t say such, which leads me to believe that you don’t have the numbers to back up that claim.

I’m going to begin conducting random statistical studies of my own. For example, after doing a brief survey of those living in this apartment, I’ve found that the average American is an atheist vegetarian. The number of football games watched per individual is extremely high, but only if you consider only those who actually watch football (other members of the household just fall asleep beside the football watching individuals as they are watching games). Those with a higher rate of football watching are also far more likely to eat potato chips on the way home rather than waiting for dinner than those with a lower rate. There is obviously a clear link between potato chip consumption and football watching. Goodness, statistics is fun!

Pedophilia is the attraction to prepubescent children. Homosexuality is the attraction to people of the same gender. If we want to prevent child molestation, let’s work to prevent child molestation. Trying so hard to make tenuous links between your target age and target gender that you create misleading topic sentences and quote irrelevant statistics is a bit pitiful, eh?

Yes, yes, I realize that I should learn and just cease to read articles from worldnetdaily.com--- but what can I say? Clearly, not watching football leads to the masochistic tendency to read ridiculous news stories... and thus has dire consequences for our culture. I apologize for not doing my part.

Organized Atheists?!? ;)

Horrified by escalating religious violence and alarmed by the Bush administration's "faith-based initiatives," which make government money available to religious organizations, atheists are coming out of the closet -- and organizing.

"Local groups are springing up all over the place," said Ellen Johnson, president of American Atheists. Active groups have grown by about 90 percent over the past six years, she said.

- Atheist groups are on the rise

Camp Quest: It’s Beyond Belief!

Any assistance in distributing the letter and article below would be much appreciated. My “target market” is local atheist/humanist newsletters, but I’d welcome any distribution method that would be likely to place information about the camp in front of freethinking eyes.

Many thanks!

***
Greetings!

I’m the chair of promotions for Camp Quest, a summer camp specifically designed for the children of atheists, freethinkers, humanists, and others that reject a supernatural worldview. Camp Quest Classic just celebrated its 11th year of operation.

Though camp is over for this season, we’ve been brainstorming ideas to raise awareness of the six Camp Quests that operate throughout the country. One area we’d like to focus on in the coming months is reaching the members of the many free-thought organizations throughout the country.

As a starting point, one of our former campers and current staff members wrote a human interest-type piece about her camp experiences. If your organization has a regular newsletter and this piece would fit well within its format, we’d very much appreciate the article’s inclusion. Additionally, if you have ideas for reaching memberships similar to yours, we’d greatly appreciate the suggestions.

Thank you very much for your assistance.

www.camp-quest.org

***

Camp Quest: It’s Beyond Belief

By Livia Edwords, 22, biology major, former camper, and current staff member

I spent a week of my summer at the greatest camp on earth. Camp Quest this year was fantastic, and I'm so disappointed it's over already. This was my third year as a staff member, but I've been going to the camp as a camper since I was about 12, so I’ve been at camp for nine years total!

For those of you who aren't familiar with the program, "Camp Quest is the first residential summer camp in the history of the United States for the children of Atheists, Freethinkers, Humanists, Brights, or whatever other terms might be applied to those who hold to a naturalistic, not supernatural world view". In a country where most of the people are religious, it’s often difficult for children of secular families to express their beliefs, out of fear of being ostracized. Camp Quest is a safe haven for these kids, where they can discuss their thoughts without being called a "devil worshipper".

Campers learn about famous atheists and freethinkers in history, such as George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, Albert Einstein, Charles Darwin, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, as well as more modern figures like Yoko Ono and John Lennon, Ted Turner, Lance Armstrong, and Christopher Reeve. These are just a few of the people that my dad, Fred Edwords, tells the kids about during mealtimes, all to emphasize the fact that good, moral people that are freethinkers can do great things, and our kids are not alone in their views.

Of course, we do normal camp stuff too. This year, the entire camp spent a day canoeing through gorgeous scenery down the Little Miami River. We also went horseback riding, my personal favorite. Campers have the opportunity to rock climb, try archery, and hike. We also go swimming every day. It was especially fun this year because the shower area was refurbished to look like a water park. Fountains, sprinklers, and colorful buckets that dump water on you do a lot to take your mind off of how cold that first dive in the pool will be!

If you can’t tell, I love it there. This year I was a counselor in the cabin for 13-17 year old campers. I also hosted our annual Talent Night, and during activity time I teach drama to the kids. Activities are a time when campers can get to know staff members that aren’t necessarily their cabin counselors. They can tie die or create other arts and crafts to mold their artistic side. They can learn about the weather, and practice their future job as a TV weatherperson by doing a forecast for the next day. They can play sports, learn about biology, or have a grand battle with foam swords!

There are way too many activities at Camp Quest to possibly name here, and even if I tried, I still wouldn’t do it justice. At camp, so many of us feel connected to a community that doesn’t seem to exist where we live, and I believe this is why so many of us return year after year. We feel safe here, we have friends here, and you only need try us out to become a part of our family!

***

Camp Quest Classic is held annually in southwestern Ohio. Other Camp Quests are located around the country in Tennessee, California, Minnesota, Ontario, and Michigan.

Want more information about Camp Quest? Visit our web site at www.camp-quest.org to request more information or view camp pictures.

***

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

If you give a mouse a cookie, he’s going to ask for a glass of milk. When you give him the milk, he’ll probably ask you for a straw. When he’s finished, he’ll ask for a napkin. Then…

- If you Give a Mouse a Cookie, by Laura Joffe Numeroff

To sum up the entire plot (yes, I’m using the word “plot” loosely) of the children’s book quoted above, a boy gives a mouse of cookie, who then demands milk, then a straw, then a napkin, then a mirror, then nail scissors…. etc, etc. etc, etc. etc. Our sweet hardworking protagonist is left exhausted and messy-housed as the mouse demands more and more. The moral of the story: woe to he who gives the mouse a cookie, for who knows what awful things the mouse might put you through as a result.

This is a classic slippery slope and a common fear; if we give in on one matter, are we setting off a long chain of doom and disaster. After all, we don’t want to give up our milk or nail scissors, but how do we stop once we’ve offered the cookie?

My answer is that we just do. Feet are remarkably good at planting themselves in one spot.

For a review of the slippery slope argument, visit here. Note that you’ll only fall down the slippery slope if there is actual independent justification that one event will necessarily lead to another. Giving away cookies doesn’t necessitate giving away milk.



Of Mice and Men (Marrying Other Men)

One of the most common arguments I hear against same-sex marriage is that, if we allow it, we’ll also have to accommodate those who wish to practice polygamy or marry their cat, Fluffy. However, it’s already been shown that it’s entirely possible to grant the first without either of the second two. Want examples? I have five of them: The Netherlands, Belgium, Massachusetts, Canada, and Spain. All of these countries granted same-sex couples the right to marry between the years of 2001 and 2005.

As another note, these were the some of the same arguments used against interracial marriage years ago. As of 1997, polls have found a majority of Americans have apparently conceded that interracial marriages are acceptable (yes, not until 1997- I was shocked as well). Even with this expansion of social tolerance, Fluffy the cat is still spouseless.

In the end, a cookie can just be a cookie.


Of Mice and Minneapolis

A minor issue at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport (MSP) has potentially major implications for the future of Islam in the United States.

Some Muslim taxi drivers serving the airport declared, starting about a decade ago, that they would not transport passengers visibly carrying alcohol, for example, in transparent duty-free shopping bags. This stance stemmed from their understanding of the Quran's ban on alcohol. A driver named Fuad Omar explained: "This is our religion. We could be punished in the afterlife if we agree to (transport alcohol.) This is a Quran issue. This came from heaven." Another driver, Muhamed Mursal, echoed his words: "It is forbidden in Islam to carry alcohol."

For the record, I think their refusal to carry alcohol is silly. However, also for the record, I see all religious superstition as silly. I don’t find it any more ridiculous that someone would fear god’s retribution for transporting alcohol than I do that someone else would fear the same for working on Sunday or using his name in vain or whatever other random religious law you want to invoke at that moment. Any Christians who find this particular interpretation of Islamic law particularly silly may want to consider that their own religious traditions were instrumental in creating blue laws, including those that still prohibit alcohol from being sold at certain times (or at all) on Sundays in some states.

The issue emerged publicly in 2000. On one occasion, 16 drivers in a row refused a passenger with bottles of alcohol. This left the passenger, who had done nothing legally and morally wrong, feeling like a criminal. For their part, the 16 cabbies lost income.

(skip a few paragraphs)

"Travelers often feel surprised and insulted," Hogan added.

Yes, this wouldn’t be particularly pleasant. However, the taxi drivers are discriminating against the alcohol rather than the person. At the Minneapolis airport at least, drivers have not refused to carry passengers who drink or even those who are currently drunk—just those who are currently carrying alcohol. Silly, yes. Hateful towards a particular group of individuals? No.

With this in mind, MAC proposed a pragmatic solution: drivers unwilling to carry alcohol could get a special color light on their car roofs, signaling their views to taxi starters and customers alike. From the airport's point of view, this scheme offers a sensible and efficient mechanism to resolve a minor irritant, leaving no passenger insulted and no driver losing business. "Airport authorities are not in the business of interpreting sacred texts or dictating anyone's religious choices," Hogan points out. "Our goal is simply to ensure travelers at (the airport) are well served." Awaiting approval only from the airport's taxi advisory committee, the two-light proposal will likely be in operation by the end of 2006.

(shrugs) This all seems quite reasonable to me. As asserted above, I think it’s somewhat ridiculous to believe that your status in the afterlife will be in jeopardy if a passenger is carrying a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon in your vehicle. However, I do think it’s even more ridiculous to mock someone else’s superstitious traditions when you hold on to superstitious traditions of your own, as most of those in this country do.

The bottom line: the taxi drivers are currently refusing to carry passengers with alcohol, resulting in some passengers having to tote their duty free bag from taxi to taxi. This is annoying and inefficient. MAC developed a solution to allow their staff to direct passengers with alcohol to taxis who will carry them with their alcohol. This seems as if it would save everyone time and effort, eh?

But on a societal level, the proposed solution has massive and worrisome implications. Among them: The two-light plan intrudes the Shariah, or Islamic law, with state sanction, into a mundane commercial transaction in Minnesota. A government authority sanctions a signal as to who does or does not follow Islamic law.

What of taxi drivers beyond those at MSP? Other Muslim hacks in Minneapolis-St. Paul and across the country could well demand the same privilege. Bus conductors might follow suit. The whole transport system could be divided between those Islamically observant and those not so.

(glances at feet to see if she’s being shoved down the slippery slope yet)

Why stop with alcohol? Muslim taxi drivers in several countries already balk at allowing seeing-eye dogs in their cars. Future demands could include not transporting women with exposed arms or hair, homosexuals and unmarried couples. For that matter, they could ban men wearing kippas, as well as Hindus, atheists, bartenders, croupiers, astrologers, bankers and quarterbacks.

(yes, definitely being shoved down the slope!)

MAC is trying to solve a specific, pre-existing problem with a specific solution. The above is a different issue. Independent taxi drivers already have the right to refuse passengers with alcohol; this isn’t some special privilege MAC is granting them. Taxi and bus companies who don’t wish to confront this problem can make transporting passengers with alcohol part of the job duty. Poof! No necessary slide down that slope.

(re-secures feet)

MAC has consulted on the taxi issue with the Minnesota chapter of the Muslim American Society, an organization the Chicago Tribune has established is devoted to turning the United States into a country run by Islamic law. The wife of a former head of the organization, for example, has explained that its goal is "to educate everyone about Islam and to follow the teachings of Islam with the hope of establishing an Islamic state."

It is precisely the innocuous nature of the two-light taxi solution that makes it so insidious, and why the Metropolitan Airports Commission should reconsider its wrong-headed decision. Readers who wish to make their views known to the MAC can write it at publicaffairs@mspmac.org.

- All quotes are from Don't Bring That Booze Into My Taxi

Insidious? Goodness. (swoons) Why is it that whenever anyone starts talking about how the Muslim population is trying to take over this country that I feel like I’ve entered a broadcast of Fox News? Perhaps I just don’t scare easily enough to buy that refusing to transport my alcohol is the first step towards an Islamic state. Or perhaps that it just seems like I’m always fighting with the Christian right, rather than any Muslim group, for reasonable legislation in this country.

By the way, though I’ve included the email in the quote above, there is no need to add to the many letters MAC already received; they’ve announced that they will not be implementing the program due to upset letters from around the world. Back to the drawing board, I suppose. Just watch for those “bright” ideas… apparently, the public doesn’t approve.

In the end, a cookie can just be a cookie, even if it has a crescent on it instead of a cross.

Christopher Columbus, Protests, & Patriotism

Christopher Columbus. The Vikings. Someone else. Whatever. Personally, I don’t really care who “discovered” a continent already the home of 40 to 50 million people. I’m sure it’s all very exciting for some to argue who deserves the title of "first European", and that’s terribly lovely for them, but to me it all feels like an antiquated pissing contest (my ship is bigger than yours!). It’s a title, a moment. I don’t care.

Potential title conflicts not withstanding, Columbus did indeed land in the Caribbean, not so very far from here, in 1492 (though, notably, he did not land in the US though we are the ones who so enthusiastically celebrate Columbus Day). His actions from that point on, and not those of the Vikings, did indeed help shaped the dynamics of the entire continent. However, the textbooks somehow forget to mention the details of his actions after landing.

On his first voyage, Columbus kidnapped some ten to twenty-five Indians and took them back with him to Spain. (pg 60)

When an Indian committed even a minor offense, the Spanish cut off his ears or nose. (pg 61)

Pedro de Cordoba wrote in a letter to King Ferdinand in 1517, “As a result of the sufferings and hard labor they endured, the Indians choose and have chosen suicide. Occasionally a hundred have committed mass suicide. The women, exhausted by labor, have shunned conception and childbirth… Many, when pregnant, have taken something to abort and have aborted. Others after delivery have killed their children with their own hands, so as not to leave them in such oppressive slavery.” (pg 63)

As soon as the 1493 expedition got to the Caribbean, before it even reached Haiti, Columbus was rewarding his lieutenants with native women to rape. On Haiti, sex slaves were one more perquisite that the Spaniards enjoyed. Columbus wrote a friend in 1500, “A hundred castollanoes are easily obtained for a woman as for a farm, and it is very general and there are plenty of dealers who go about looking for girls; those from nine to ten are now in demand.” (pg 65)

I’m not arguing European Americans of today should personally feel responsible for these atrocities. They were committed long ago, by different people with different values, blah, blah, blah… I get it. We’ve “moved past” this, right?

Glorifying Columbus with a national holiday isn’t just moving past something, it’s grossly redefining history. The Columbus of textbooks is a highly abbreviated fiction. I like fiction. However, I like my fictions labeled as fiction and my facts labeled as fact.

If all we’re looking for in a hero worthy of celebration by national holiday is a man who was willing to exploit others in the pursuit of wealth, there are plenty of other explorers we could similarly glorify. To me, heroes must have some other credit to their name than just the bravery to hunt for new sources of gold.

In the end, there are lessons to be learned from this section of our past and Mr. Columbus specifically, but only if we retell the whole story rather than just the pretty parts.

When Columbus was selling Queen Isabella on the wonders of the Americas, the Indians were “well built” and “of quick intelligence.” “They have every good customs,” he wrote, “and the king maintains a very marvelous state, of a style so orderly that it is a pleasure to see it, and they have good memories and they wish to see everything and ask what it is and for what it is used.” Later, when Columbus was justifying his wars and his enslavement of the Indians, they became “cruel” and “stupid,” “a people warlike and numerous, whose customs and religion are very different from ours.”

It is always useful to think badly about people one has exploited or plans to exploit. Modifying one’s opinions to bring them into line with one’s actions or planned actions is the most common outcome of the process known as “cognitive dissonance,” according to the social psychologist Leon Festinger. No one likes to think of himself or herself as a bad person. To treat badly another person whom we consider a reasonable human being creates a tension between act at attitude that demands resolution. We cannot erase what we have done, and to later our future behavior may not be in our interested. To change our attitude is easier.

- James Loewen in Lies My Teacher Told Me, pg 68

More valuable than reenactments of shouts of “Tierra!” and glorifications of the voyage itself, are the lessons in the ways humans justify exploiting other humans. When we understand how we’ve justified atrocities in the past, it makes it easier to pinpoint slides towards this sort of “cognitive dissonance” in the future.

We all “split” to some degree. Our ability to see “us” and “they” is what makes watching football fun (okay, fun for some people- I still don’t get it) and allows us to like our children even though they are arguably just as bratty as the neighbors’ hellions.
However, when we actually begin to view others as less human, less deserving of basic dignity than whatever ‘us’ we might belong to, we’ve moved into a dangerous territory. In this realm, our actions are no longer bounded by the ethical sense of right and wrong we’d apply to others within our group. This is how we justify mass murder, mass rape, mass enslavement. This is how we justify stripping others of rights that we’d demand for ourselves and our families. This is how we justify insularity in the name of loyalty.

***

We label those who can’t swallow these high school fictions as somehow less patriotic than those waving flags at the parade. To me, patriotism isn’t about glossing over the details and offering blind acceptance of either the past or the present. I believe the true patriots include those who yell, point, and promote change in the name of truth and fairness. I believe patriotism certainly includes wanting your country to be better. I have no problem with the concept of “loving ones country.” However, I’m maintaining the right to not like it on occasion.

***

Other Columbus Day articles and posts I enjoyed can be found at Biblioblogography and here. Lies my Teacher Told Me by James Loewen (the source of all quotes in this post) is an excellent book about the ways American history has been revised and rewritten.

The Importance of Soup

I was going to complete electronic-type things today such as post, respond to comments, and compose replies to long-ago-sent emails, but I think I shall instead spend my day eating soup and reading. Many apologies to all of those I owe correspondence... I’ll return soon.

Ahmadinejad and the Pope Agree. How Quaint.

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said here on Friday that the big powers' atheism is the rootcause of man's problems today.

- Ahmadinejad: Atheism of big powers is rootcause of man's plight

Ahmadinejad, dear, you're being cliche. The pope said essentially the same thing a few weeks back.

(glances around self) Big powers? Where are these atheistic big powers? How is it that we are the scary demon of two major religions when we are an unorganized minority?

I personally feel I should strike fear only in the hearts of tricky standardized test questions and leafy green vegetables. I make it a practice to conquer and destroy both on a regular basis. Otherwise, I’m pretty un-scary. (shrugs)

I (heart) Ira Glass

His presentation at the Memorial Theater in Cincinnati on Sunday was incredible. Want to swoon along with me? This American Life archives are available online.

Two more reasons to NOT vote for a Republican Congress

Reason One:

WASHINGTON - The Senate on Thursday endorsed President Bush's plans to prosecute and interrogate terror suspects, all but sealing congressional approval for legislation that Republicans intend to use on the campaign trail to assert their toughness on terrorism.

(skip a few paragraphs)

The detainee bill would create military commissions to prosecute terrorism suspects. It also would prohibit some of the worst abuses of detainees like mutilation and rape, but it would grant the president leeway to decide which other interrogation techniques are permissible.

- Senate OKs detainee interrogation bill

Reason Two:

WASHINGTON - The House approved a bill Thursday that would grant legal status to President Bush's warrantless wiretapping program with new restrictions.

Republicans called it a test before the election of whether Democrats want to fight or coddle terrorists.

"The Democrats' irrational opposition to strong national security policies that help keep our nation secure should be of great concern to the American people," Majority Leader John Boehner, R-Ohio, said in a statement after the bill passed 232-191.

"To always have reasons why you just can't vote 'yes,' I think speaks volumes when it comes to which party is better able and more willing to take on the terrorists and defeat them," Boehner said.

Democrats shot back that the war on terrorism shouldn't be fought at the expense of civil and human rights. The bill approved by the House, they argued, gives the president too much power and leaves the law vulnerable to being overturned by a court.

"It is ceding the president's argument that Congress doesn't matter in this area," said Rep. Chris Van Hollen (news, bio, voting record), D-Md.

The bill, sponsored by Rep. Heather Wilson (news, bio, voting record), R-N.M., that give legal status under certain conditions to Bush's warrantless wiretapping of calls and e-mails between people on U.S. soil making calls or sending e-mails and those in other countries.

- House approves warrantless wiretap law

PERA-noia, PERA-noia, the ACLU is coming to get me…

Please excuse my awful pun of a title. It’s a pera-dy (see that was a worse pun! I bet you didn’t think it could get worse than the title!) of the first line of Harvey Danger’s Flag Pole Sitta. Their version was a bit more sing-able than mine.

WASHINGTON (ABP) -- After impassioned debate on the separation of church and state Sept. 26, the House of Representatives passed a bill that would make it harder to sue the government for violations of church-state separation.

House members voted 244-173 in favor of H.R. 2679, called by supporters the "Public Expression of Religion Act." In cases involving the First Amendment's establishment clause, the proposal would prevent federal courts from requiring government entities to reimburse the legal costs of the individual or group that sued the government agency -- even though the agency was found in violation of the constitution.

The establishment clause bars the government from endorsing or inhibiting religious groups or doctrines. Currently, federal judges routinely require the government entity to pay the legal expenses of a plaintiff who successfully asserts an establishment-clause violation.

Supporters contended that the bill would keep special-interest groups such as the American Civil Liberties Union from "abusing the system" when filing challenges to government actions that may endorse religion.

The ACLU is not abusing the system. The government, when it violates the establishment clause, is abusing the system. The House, when passing this bill, just abused the system. The ACLU helps police the system. See the difference?

"Too often today, overzealous courts have infringed an individual's right to worship," Rep. Phil Gingrey (R-Ga.), a supporter of the measure, said on the House floor. "These attacks on our religious heritage are frivolous."

No. The courts have maintained our right to not have our noses shoved in your religious whatever. They aren’t frivolous lawsuits. They’re lawsuits to defend the rights of religious and nonreligious minorities.

But opponents said it would have a chilling effect on the ability of religious minorities to defend their freedoms.

"Mr. Speaker, let's be clear -- there's nothing benign about this bill. This bill makes it more difficult to enforce the First Amendment to the Constitution and the very words thereof designed to protect the religious freedom of every American," said Rep. Chet Edwards (D-Texas).

Without such reimbursements, many church-state separationist groups and other civil-rights groups could not afford to file such lawsuits in the first place.

Yes.

The bill's chief sponsor, Rep. John Hostettler (R-Ind.), said some such groups file lawsuits and use the threat of hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees to pressure municipalities and states into settling before the case reaches court.

"Without that ability for the ACLU and others to go into these closed-door sessions and say to the mayor…we're going to sue, we're going to win, and you're going to have to pay our attorneys' fees, these cases will go to court," Hostettler said, referring to the American Civil Liberties Union.

(rolls eyes) Yes, yes, let’s drag the ACLU into it. Everyone likes to bash the ACLU! A note: you only have to reimburse the legal fees if they show you’ve violated the establishment clause. Don’t violate it, and you’ll be fine.

But Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D-N.Y.) asked the bill's supporters if they would feel the same way about limiting attorneys' fees in such cases if government agencies were being sued for advancing other religions.

"Let's assume in some town Sunni Muslims became a majority. And let's assume that everyone in that town…was forced to recite 'There is but one God, and Allah is his name,'" he said, quoting Islam's most common affirmation of faith.

"They think that only the majority religion is ever going to be in the position to dominate the local government or any government. Maybe so, but the whole reason we have the First Amendment is because you can't be sure."

(nods) Yes. However, I don’t think that’s the main issue. The main issue (for me at least) is that it’s not fair to squish the rights of minorities even if you have the power to do so.

Although a companion bill has been introduced in the Senate, that body is virtually certain not to address it before Congress ends its current term.
- House passes measure to chill establishment-clause lawsuits

I hope not, as I still have hope that Dem’s might gain a Senate majority for the next term. Either way, write to your Senators!

***


On the same topic, but from slightly less sane sources:

… all of our veterans cemeteries and memorials on public property are at risk – unless PERA passes.

Oh! Oh! Veterans cemeteries! Veterans cemeteries! Emotional, non-touchable patriotism-related issue!!!!! ACLU! BAD! ANTI-AMERICAN! ANTI-AMERICAN! DESTROYING OUR SOCIETY!!!!!!!! ALCU! BAD!!!

AHHHHHHH!!!!!

What a great choice of issue to exploit to scare people into supporting this bill. ACLU ATTACKING FALLEN VETERNS! It’s ridiculous propaganda.

As a clarification, I’m certainly not bashing veterans. I support our former troops… especially in bed. As a clarification of my clarification, I suppose I only actually support one of them in this manner. However, this seems like a contribution at least on par with buying a few plastic flags or patriotic bumper stickers or the like, yes? ;)

(shrugs) Anyway, let’s continue. So, why do these lovely people believe veterans cemeteries are under attack?

The ACLU has claimed nationally that gravestones have been “deemed” constitutional because families, not the government, choose the religious symbols. However, the truth is no court of precedent has ever “deemed” that it is constitutional for the government to allow and pay for gravestones bearing religious symbols at veteran cemeteries, on the basis that families, rather than the government, chose the symbol. The ACLU has cited no such decision; and none has been found to exist.

So, seeing as the ACLU feels these displays are constitutional, it has just declared that it doesn’t feel the need for litigation, correct?

Second, the ACLU has never taken that position in litigation; rather, it insists that religious symbols are unconstitutional if on public property.

The ACLU defined why it felt this was a different issue: family choice of personal expression of personal religion on a personal gravestone.

Third, the ACLU has not stated it will not sue the freestanding memorials bearing religious symbols or expressions that exist at veterans cemeteries.

I can see a clear difference between freestanding memorials bearing religious symbols and gravestones bearing religious symbols. While it isn’t an issue of utmost concern to me, I think the random, non-person-or-people-specific religious memorials should probably be removed from public grounds if they are causing upset. The cemeteries would still be there.

Fourth, there are thousands of grave markers, including 9,000 at the American Cemetery at Normandy Beach, which the government decided upon, not families.

Erm, the American Cemetery at Normandy Beach in France? Somehow, I can’t picture the ACLU suing over this.

Fifth, the ACLU is hardly the only entity representing a threat of such lawsuits. Nothing in the law currently prevents others, including Islamist fanatics, from filing Establishment Clause lawsuits against veterans cemeteries, and then demanding court-awarded, taxpayer-paid attorney fees.

- ACLU’s Disinformation On Public Expression Of Religion Act Exposed

Yes, because clearly this is how Islamist fanatics spread their message. Many congratulations for managing to raise your propaganda level at least a few points with the inclusion of the phrase, “Islamist fanatics.” Your target audience is now at least 32.452% more likely to write a letter to his or her congressman.

To see the ACLU’s response to the House passing PERA, read their press release. And write to your Senators!

Expanding Values (yeah right)

Determined to break the links binding partisan politics and faith, growing numbers of religious moderates are uniting and organizing in an unprecedented bid to challenge the Christian right and broaden the values agenda beyond the issues of abortion and gay marriage.

(skip a paragraph)

This new coalition of moderate and progressive Christians underscored its intentions with a flurry of activity last week, as prominent conservative Christian leaders and politicians converged on Washington for the Family Research Council's first annual Values Voter Summit, which ends today.
- Moderates finding a voice

So, if these lovely, moderate people expanded the conversation beyond abortion and gay marriage, what did they talk about? Well, apparently gay marriage and abortion (see how different it is if you switch the order?):

The gathering, which concludes today, featured Republican presidential candidates and members of Congress, and seeks to mobilize evangelical voters this fall by focusing on issues such as gay marriage and abortion. Focus on the Family has started voter registration drives in eight states, according to its Web site.
- Baylor study debunks the ‘religious conservative’ and ‘secular liberal’ stereotypes

Bipartisan, huh? This all sounds like an awfully red shade of purple to me. “Oh, we’re bipartisan… there must be at least one Democrat here! Democrat? Where are you? Oh well, he must have wandered off for a moment.”

Speaking of “bipartisan”, at this same summit:

"I certainly hope that Hillary is the candidate," Falwell said, according to the recording. "She has $300 million so far. But I hope she's the candidate. Because nothing will energize my [constituency] like Hillary Clinton."
Cheers and laughter filled the room as Falwell continued: "If Lucifer ran, he wouldn't."

(skip a few paragraphs)

"He was calling Hillary Clinton a demonic figure and openly arguing that God is a Republican," said the Rev. Barry Lynn, director of the advocacy group Americans United for Separation of Church and State. "It's hard to know whether people thought he was joking or serious, but once you start using religious imagery and invoking a politician in this way, it's not funny."

An aide to Falwell said Saturday the Lucifer reference was an "off the cuff" comment and Falwell "had no intentions of demonizing her." In the past, Falwell has described Islam's prophet Muhammad as a terrorist and said abortionists, feminists, gays and lesbians were to blame for the Sept. 11 attacks.

Falwell's remarks about Clinton were part of a 40-minute address at a private breakfast that included assurances that God would preserve a Republican majority in Congress and that moderates such as former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani cannot be allowed to win the GOP presidential nomination.

- Hillary Clinton could outdraw the devil, Falwell says

I must concede that Falwell is almost as much fun as Robertson. Then again, until Falwell claims to bench-press 2000 pounds, he’s still a second-rate crazy in my book. If the Democrats do obtain a Congressional majority in the November elections (as I hope they do), then did Falwell’s oh-so-Republican god fail?


At another recent “values” rally, in Pittsburg:

All the speakers said they wouldn't tell people how to vote.

But if a politician shares his principles on issues from judges to marriage "and is committed to the God of the universe, and from my perspective, Jesus Christ his only begotten son ... it would be a sin not to go to the polls and vote for him or her," Dobson said.

A sin! But we are not, of course, telling you how to vote.

Attendees were encouraged to "pray, prepare and participate" by, among other things, taking bulk packages of voter guides prepared by the conservative Pennsylvania Family Institute to distribute at their churches and asking pastors to hold voter-registration drives.

(skip a few paragraphs)

Gay-marriage bans are on the ballot in eight states this year, including three with close Senate races: Arizona, Virginia and Tennessee.

"When you have a marriage amendment on the ballot, it makes it that much easier" to motivate conservative Christian voters, said John Green, a senior fellow at the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life. "And on balance, they'll vote for the Republican candidates in those states."
-
"Disappointed" activists pushing values buttons

Aww… how sweet. Let’s lure ‘em in with the discriminatory legislation and keep ‘em around to vote for the Republicans. Erm, the bipartisan Republicans, of course.

Dirty Words

Believers say atheism no longer a 'dirty word'

Well first, if they did say such, I suppose that’s very nice of them. In this spirit of random benevolence, I shall declare that cow, sheep, and ice cream are no longer dirty words either.

Second, I can’t find anywhere in the article where believers do say such. I see a quote where Ellen Johnson (clearly an atheist) discusses how atheism used to be a dirty word... but no believers absolving the word from its apparent former state of filthiness.

Further De-Closeting

As a follow-up to the newspaper article of a few weeks ago, I’m going to be part of a panel for presentations on Thursday and Friday of this week. Cassandra, of the newspaper article and the official "atheist-mama”, will participate as will four other members of my local humanist group.

Readers from central Ohio should certainly come to listen and cheer. Or interrogate us mercilessly. Or, if you are so inclined, I suppose you could come just to throw fruit at me… however, I’d request the fruit be relatively fresh and preferably of the berry variety. Blackberries, maybe? Other berries would be acceptable as well. Please hold the fruit until after the presentation itself, as I wouldn’t want any innocent panelists to be attacked by berries clearly meant for me.

Details (about the presentations, not the fruit) are available at the web sites of Students for Freethought (for Thursday) and the Humanist Community of Central Ohio (for Friday).

Multiple-Choice God

… the study went further by asking respondents what sort of God they believed in. The results put the perennial debate over the role of religion in public life in a new light.

The survey identifies four conceptions of God, which it labels A, B, C and D.

A is the Authoritarian God, worshiped by 31.4% of respondents. This deity is highly involved, responsible for Earthly events such as tsunamis or economic upturns and "capable of meting out punishment to those who are unfaithful or ungodly."

B is the Benevolent God, the choice of 23% of respondents. He also is involved in human affairs but isn't in the smiting business. This God is "mainly a force of positive influence in the world and is less willing to condemn or punish individuals."

C is the Critical God, who "really does not interact with the world." But believers in this God — 16% of the sample — still watch their Ps and Qs because God C "views the current state of the world unfavorably" and will punish evildoers "in another life."

Last but not least is D, the Distant God. Twenty-four percent of respondents endorsed — "embraced" is probably too strong a word — this version of the deity, "a cosmic force which set the laws of nature in motion" but has no interest in human activities.

This puts the SAT in a new light. At least that’s just an unfair test to determine who gets into college. Multiple choice tests for eternal salvation, eh? I’d imagine there’s a guessing penalty.

Finally, there are the atheists, who accounted for 5.2% of respondents. (They aren't dignified with an abbreviation. F for faithless?

How about just E, none of the above?

All quotes are from Multiple-Choice God.

We don’t need metaphysics to mess with our minds; math works efficiently enough.

Ghost Whisperer Crystal Ball

Go play with the crystal ball and see if you can find the trick before you read any further...














Are you sure you want to know? It’s going to spoil the illusion…












… and illusions are fun!














The Spoiler:

If you add together any two digit number and subtract the results from the original number, you will always get a multiple of nine that is 81 or less. Always. Notice that 81, 72, 63, 54, 45, 36, 27, 18, and 9 are always the same symbol.

Cool stuff, eh?

On the down side, the game isn’t fun anymore after you find the trick. Such is the way with a variety of illusions. Oh well. I’d still rather have math than illusions.

Futher further "friendly" fire

**An addition to my post from this morning.... 'cause I just can't get enough of the pope.**


Or, from Pope stops short of apology to Muslims:

"We swear to God to send you people who adore death as much as you adore life," said the message posted in the name of the Mujahedeen Army on a Web site frequently used by militant groups. The message's authenticity could not be independently verified. The statement was addressed to "you dog of Rome" and threatens to "shake your thrones and break your crosses in your home."

(coughs) Once again, we’re not violent! We just adore death!

As I’m continually mocking, I shall point out I do get that these messages/firebombs/etc. are being sent out by select groups of Muslims. I find the garden-variety Muslim no more irrational than the garden-variety Christian. The Muslim extremists just tend to be a lot noisier in today’s world.

He noted that earlier during his German trip, Benedict warned "secularized Western culture" against holding contempt for any religion or believers.

(skip a few paragraphs)

Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan insisted the pope apologize to the Muslim world, saying he had spoken "not like a man of religion but like a usual politician."

Exactly like a politician! We’ll pander to various religious groups, but why bother worrying about whether or not we step on secular toes? Oh, and I’m not contemptuous of believers. I’m just contemptuous of many of their beliefs.

"We have to show the determination and care not to hurt one another and avoid situations where we may hurt each others' beliefs," the Istanbul-based Patriarchate said.

(rolls eyes) As already suggested, the pope is perhaps not the most convincing figure when it comes to pointing fingers at violent religions. However, I’m all for pointing at fundamentalism/ridiculousness and calling it by name. You can’t expect me to smile sweetly and accept whatever you want to believe when laws and actions based on these beliefs restrict the rights of others. Believe whatever you like, just keep it out of the lives of others. If you don’t, expect to be pointed at.