I’m coming a bit further out of my non-theistic closet this Friday.
I was interviewed for an article about local atheists in the Faith and Values section of this Friday’s paper, along with four other members of my humanist group. At first, I was somewhat hesitant to be interviewed because I own and run a tutoring center. Had I a regular job, I’d merrily sue for wrongful termination should my funds for food, blankets and other necessary items cease to find their way into my bank account. It’s a bit harder to sue your clients when they stop handing you checks. However, I’m betting on the fact that both I and my clients can and shall handle the entire de-closeting situation with grace. I’m also betting a bit on the fact that many of my clients won’t even see the paper as it’s being released my “living area” local paper rather than my “working area” local paper.
The main reason I wanted to be a part of the article is this: too many people are scared of atheists. I’d speculate that this fear stems from a lack of knowledge; people don’t know atheists or, more likely, they don’t know that they know atheists. Like monsters under the bed, climbs to the top of really tall mountains, and family reunions, the unknown is often more scary than the reality of dust bunnies and spectacular views (I take back the speculations on family reunions- they are often really that scary and might remain best unknown). The more atheists who become living, breathing, normal (well, relatively normal) people in the minds of the general public, rather than just parts of a blob of unknown, the less we will be feared as a group.
I’m an okay specimen of a “normal” atheist. I’m clean-cut and college educated. I like dogs and children (though I’m entirely finished with dating men who act like dogs or children). I tip well and smile frequently. Several people actually like me! One or two like me especially particularly a lot. I’m normal… well… relatively normal (maybe). Either way, I certainly have the appearance of normalcy and that’s truly what matters, eh? Regardless, I consider myself more of a dust bunny than a family reunion; I might cause a sneeze or two at times, but I’m generally not feared and avoided once you’ve gotten to know me.
All the above is true. However, in the end, it wasn’t all some grand altruistic action. Had I not been interviewed, I’m sure there were plenty of others from the group who would have been willing to take my place. Part of my decision was quite self-motivated. I recently resolved to be less apologetic about my beliefs, choices, and self in general. So, partially, I wanted to be interviewed for me, so I can continue down a path where I’m okay with being myself and not afraid to share that self with others. Sounds pretty, eh? We’ll see how pretty it sounds to me in a few days.
Post interview and simply waiting for the article, I’m a bit nervous. I’d estimate that 12.32% of my family know I’m atheist. The rest finding out? Actually, not really a big deal. However, I’d also estimate that 0.00% of my clients know I’m atheist. The rest finding out? Potentially more of a big deal. However, it may be fairer to trust people to accept me as myself than it is to just assume that they won’t and that I should thus keep my beliefs hidden. So, I’m trusting because I already made the choice to trust and at this point all I can do is wait… and write nervous blog entries.
If all this backfires, I shall be accepting donations of food, blankets, checks, and quirky sex-toys (oh come on- I’ll need something to keep me busy when my business fails and I’m without work) at my home address.
