I (don’t heart) Huckabee

"Unless Moses comes down with two stone tablets from Brokeback Mountain to tell us something different, we need to keep that understanding of marriage," Huckabee said, referring to the movie about two gay cowboys.

How clever. A merged pop-culture/biblical reference. In reality, the existing ten commands don’t address homosexual behavior or marriage though they do forbid adultery, often interpreted as any sex outside of marriage.

Really, if fundamentalist Christians are oh so concerned with reducing the amount of sex by unmarried couples, perhaps they should consider supporting same-sex marriage. Currently, Massachusetts is the only state where same-sex couples even have the option to be considered a-okay by those pesky stone tablet edicts.

Huckabee also expressed his opposition to heterosexual couples living together, calling it "demeaning. . . . I reject it as an alternate lifestyle."

- Huckabee's views on gays under greater scrutiny

Unfortunately it appears that I, in my deviant heterosexual live-in relationship, will still be damning myself to hell on a regular basis. Oh well.

For those of us unsure of our degree of personal sinfulness, Huckabee appears to have created a helpful continuum of “aberrant behavior.”

As first reported yesterday by David Corn at Mother Jones, Huckabee said the following in a 1998 book he co-wrote called Kids Who Kill:

It is now difficult to keep track of the vast array of publicly endorsed and institutionally supported aberrations—from homosexuality and pedophilia to sadomasochism and necrophilia.

When we asked Carter if Huckabee stood by this quote, he didn't disavow the comment. But he sought to clarify its meaning, denying our suggestion that the quote equated homosexuality and necrophilia:

"He's not equating homosexuality with necrophilia," Carter told us. "He's saying there's a range of aberrant behavior. He considers homosexuality aberrant, but that's at one end of the spectrum. Necrophilia is at the other end."
Carter added: "No way is he saying that homosexuality is like having sex with dead people. That's not it at all."
Asked how one measured what rated where on this spectrum of aberrant behavior, Carter said: "He was talking about aberrant sexual behavior. Sado masochism and necrophilia are on the further end of the spectrum."

- Huckabee Adviser Clarifies Remark About Homosexuality And Necrophilia: They're Both "Aberrant Behavior," But They're At "Opposite Ends Of The Spectrum"

I suppose this means if Huckabee becomes president, I’ll never be permitted to enter into a civil union with my handcuffs. Such a pity.

Teen Birth Rate on the Rise

The nation's teen birth rate has risen for the first time in 14 years, according to a new government report.

The birth rate had been dropping since 1991. The decline had slowed in recent years, but government statisticians said Wednesday it jumped 3 percent from 2005 to 2006.

- Report: U.S. teen births rise

This, after years and years of federally funded abstinence only sex education classes?

I’m shocked. Shocked!

Since all of these teenagers must be listening carefully (as teenagers do) and abstaining consistently (as teenagers also do), the only possible explanation I can see is a rise in the rate of immaculate conception.

…and, some impending sanity from my home state of Ohio…

An Ohio school board is expanding sex education following the revelation that 13 percent of one high school's female students were pregnant last year.

- Sex Ed Changes At School With 65 Pregnant Teens

My ultimatum to myself: write, or face cardboard boxes

A coworker informed me that Massachusetts is just as religious as the Midwest. Clearly, that coworker has not spent a substantial amount of time in the Midwest. After living in Ohio for 24 years, the past six months of living just a few minutes walk from Harvard University has felt practically like a different world, one in which atheism… well… doesn’t actually matter so much.

Sure, sure—there is religion in Boston. However, it feels more like the free-form Western European variety of religion where some people are religious, some not, and only a relatively small percent of the population actually wants to shove their religion down your throat. Compare this to Ohio, where atheism was such an oddity that I was included in a newspaper article about local atheists, and where, on my last day as a tutor, the mother of one of my clients spent twenty minutes explaining to me that god had asked her to witness to me because he wants to be a part of my life. (Note to god: asking a friend to ask someone out for you is soooo middle school. In the future, I’d advise both god and middle school students to try direct communication for better results.)

The only bad part of the move? No inspiration. Since packing up myself and my books and transporting us to Boston, I’ve been horribly lax about writing in general and blogging specifically. I think the best solution would be for me to move back to Ohio, thus recreating the religious tension necessary for good atheist blogging. However, since I’m not actually interested in moving, my second-best solution is to just sit down at the darn computer and start typing. Regularly. We’ll see how that works. If I’m unsuccessful, please start sending new cardboard boxes for my books.

(Okay, so I have absolutely no intention of enforcing this threat to myself. I (heart) MA.)

Massachusetts Gay Marriage Referendum Is Rejected

Massachusetts Gay Marriage Referendum Is Rejected

BOSTON, June 14 — Same-sex marriage will continue to be legal in Massachusetts, after proponents in both houses won a pitched months-long battle on Thursday to defeat a proposed constitutional amendment to define marriage as between a man and a woman.

See, I knew I chose the correct state. Woohoo!

(Thanks Jack, for the heads up.)

Brazil to subsidize birth control pills

SAO PAULO, Brazil - Just weeks after Pope Benedict XVI denounced government-backed contraception in a visit to Brazil, the president unveiled a program Monday to provide cheap birth control pills at 10,000 drug stores across the country.

(applauds) If this is the effect the Pope has on the countries he visits, I encourage him to tour widely and often.

"The church favors responsible parenthood, with parents using natural (birth control) methods," said Tempesta, who oversees the church in the northeastern state of Para.

- Brazil to subsidize birth control pills

As the joke goes, the Catholic Church allows women to use mathematics to prevent pregnancy, but neither physics nor chemistry. "Natural Family Planning" has always struck me as a ridiculously contrived loophole. I once heard it explained that the method leaves open the opportunity for God to "give" you a child, if he so wishes. I suppose that if I were to believe in an omnipotent deity who reputably once managed to impregnate a virgin, I'd likely trust that neither a condom nor a pill full of hormones would be likely to thwart him. Perhaps I’m over-estimating omnipotence.

(cross posted at The Atheist Mama)

Deities & Dump Trucks

God threw a dump truck at me on Wednesday. Luckily, God apparently has lousy aim and the dump truck landed in the ditch beside me, leaving my little civic-hybrid and all people involved entirely uncrumpled.

Some might suggest that instead of attacking me, God saved me by sending the dump truck into the ditch instead of into my bumper. However, it doesn’t seem quite fair to always be giving God the benefit of the doubt by attributing the miracles to him while denying his involvement in misfortune. As a dirty atheist, I certainly haven’t been racking up “divine intervention” points. This was most likely an act of divine spite gone bad due to inadequate warm-up time in the bullpen.

On the bright side, I think I might have found a new angle for marketing my car. Perhaps I’ll have more luck selling the Honda Civic Hybrid with Divinely-Thrown Dump Truck Dodging Powers. Anyone want to buy a “magic” car?

Is coffee dangerous after all?

After reading all of the studies about the potential health benefits and downfalls of coffee, I apparently subconsciously decided to conduct my own study this morning. My findings were this: espresso, when applied directly to the left hand, appears to have no health benefits. In fact, scalding one's skin could arguably have a negative effect on one's health. Based on this experiment, I’d suggest that espresso continue to be ingested through the mouth rather than applied to the skin. Others are welcome to repeat this experiment to assess the validity of my results, but I’d recommend that you use someone else (preferably someone you don’t like) as a test subject rather than applying the espresso to your own hand. Ouch.

Polls: Sarkozy elected French president

PARIS - Energized French voters chose Nicolas Sarkozy as their new president on Sunday, giving the U.S.-friendly conservative a comfortable margin for victory and a mandate for change, result projections from four polling agencies showed. His Socialist opponent conceded minutes after polls closed.

- Polls: Sarkozy elected French president

I think my favorite line about the election (from another article) was one where Sarkozy was quoted as calling Iraq a “mistake” whereas Royal called it a “disaster.” The French idea of conservative is certainly already less far right than that of in the states*. That being said, from what little I knew of the election (mostly via Snoow), I was definitely crossing my fingers for Royal. Apparently, crossing my fingers had little effect.


* The French apparently typically refer to the US’s political parties as the right and the far right.

Serving Up Maggots as an Appetizer for Atheism

If you serve up maggots anywhere during a conversation, like during a meal, it’ll be all your guests remember later.

I recently started a temporary day job as an instructional designer. On my first day, I was granted a cubicle. As someone who has spent most of her life self-employed or, for a short while, in an office*, a cubicle is a novel experience indeed.

I’m still learning the rules of cubicle life. I’ve already learned that whenever anyone in an adjacent cubicle begins a conversation, it’s commonly understood that everyone in the vicinity must drop everything he or she is doing to eavesdrop. It’s also my understanding that it is proper to later pretend that these conversations were completely inaudible to all but the intended parties. Through our mutual pretending, we maintain the illusion that we all have “real” offices and “real” privacy.

Apparently, this tenet of cubicle etiquette doesn’t always apply.

A few days ago, I was sitting in my cubicle, merrily designing instruction**, when I heard the Ira Glass-esque voice of a coworker sitting in a neighboring cubicle drawl, “you know Kelly***, there is no afterlife.” At this, my ears perked up. While I personally might try to not introduce rationalism with death, I’m always interested identifying fellow rationalists. He sounded like a good candidate. “There is no heaven, no hell, no god,” Ira-sound-alike continued. A fellow atheist too! I continued to listen, not even pretending to type anymore. “When you die, your body will rot and be eaten by maggots. Life really has no point.” Oh, I thought. He’s a maggot guy.

The conversation continued, intermixed with a lesson in Adobe Illustrator. I was less interested in listening at this point. I’m a realist. I’m okay with the fact that, were I to be buried****, my body would indeed decay, possibly with the assistance of some friendly maggots. However, I’m not so into unnecessarily dwelling on the gruesome. “Hi! I’m an atheist! Want some maggots?” is possibly not the best pick-up line ever invented.

Later that afternoon, Kelly wandered over to my cubicle and grumbled, “Oh, I’m just having a great day—Ira told me I’m going to be eaten by maggots and that there isn’t any point to life. Did you hear?” Apparently, this was a case when I was supposed to ignore cubicle tenet number two and acknowledge that I had, indeed, been eavesdropping. I nodded. “My mother raised me as a Catholic,” Kelly continued, “she’d just be so upset to hear something like that.” I nodded again. “Why would he believe something like that?” she asked.

I took a deep breath as I prepared to out myself. “Well, actually, I’m also an atheist. However, I think Ira’s being a bit of a nihilist.” I explained how the lack of an afterlife just makes life sweeter—since we only get to try once, we should do as much with our lives as possible. I explained that, while I didn’t believe there was a prescribed “meaning” of life, we make our own meaning through social compacts and personal values. “Oh,” Kelly said, blinking a few times as she absorbed this. Then she smiled, “That’s really so much nicer. I’m so glad I met you, Amanda,” and wandered off singing***** a random show-tune I’d never heard before.

Really, I don’t know the background or circumstances of Ira and Kelly’s conversation and could be grossly misrepresenting them both. Such is the danger of blogging about those you’ve only known for three days. However, either way, I shall make a suggestion for introducing atheism to others: good conversations, like good recipes, call for absolutely no maggots.

Cross posted at The Atheist Mama.

* with REAL walls!

** after all, that is what we instructional designers design

*** not her real name

**** I don’t plan on it—I might as well donate it to science and let someone get some use out of it.

**** this is not an exaggeration for literary purposes—she really does sing while wandering around the office. It’s her thing.

Sacrificing for the Relationship

Many moons ago, I dated a vegetarian. Many moons ago, I was a bloodthirsty meat-eater. But, I was also a hormone-crazed young man, so whatever she wanted was fine with me. No meat? I'll deal. So I sacrificed.

These days, I'm a vegetarian. This actually makes things easier. I'm still in the minority on other things though. I'm an atheist. I have to steer clear of those catholic school girls. (also because I'm atheist). So I sacrifice. Actually, that has worked out with my wonderful current significant other. She's great. atheist, vegetarian, and sometimes, a Catholic school girl. Life is good...

I guess I wouldn't be blogging if everything was good. See, here's the deal. Sometimes, I need a pencil, detergent, some Wheaties, a bike chain, the new Economist magazine, two staples, tires for the truck, and a wireless router. Back in the old days, I would set out for the one-stop shopping paradise: Wal*Mart. I love me some Wal*Mart. Everything I ever wanted and didn't know it. Awesome.

However, apparently, my new girl is a NonWal*Martitarian. Just my luck. So now I sacrifice. Sometimes I have to go to two, three, or even four different stores to shop. It's tough, but these are the tradeoffs I have to make.

The Friendly Atheist... publishes a book!

I Sold My Soul on eBay, written by Hemant Mehta of Friendlyatheist.com, will be available April 17th, 2007. Hemant is fabulous; I had the chance to hear him speak briefly as well as talk to him in more depth at meals at the recent American Atheists convention in Seattle. I’ve preordered his book on Amazon.com and hope to provide more informed recommendation (of the book, rather than just of Hemant) once I’ve had a chance to read it.

Abstinence education doesn't work, US report shows (again)

Abstinence-only education programs meant to teach children to avoid sex until marriage failed to control their sexual behavior, according to a U.S. government report.

Teenagers who took part in the programs as elementary and middle school students were just as likely to have sex as those who did not take part in them, the survey found.

- by Maggie Fox

Writing Returns, Writing Privileges, & Rational Signs

After attending American Atheists’ convention in Seattle last weekend, I have approximately 43.83 new topics to blog about. So, I’m officially back. While life hasn’t really calmed down since my post about overflowing cups and the like, I miss writing. I’ll be around mainly on weekends, as I seem to have acquired a day job in addition to my soon-to-be-sold business… but I shall be around, writing and blog-browsing, once again.

For those who haven’t noticed, I oh-so-benevolently granted my significant other posting privileges on the blog a few months back. Really, seeing as he granted me living-in-his-apartment-privileges about a year ago, blog-sharing seems only fair, eh? Posts signed by dday76 are by Jason. Posts signed by aviaa are by Amanda. Certainly, we could be logical and just use our actual names to sign posts, but where is the fun in that?

On a terribly exciting note, after a world-wind look at condos around Boston, we decided on one after discovering a Darwin fish on a car parked at the building next to ours. As Jason postulated, “a non-existent force of the rational universe was sending two atheists a purely physical sign that this was the place.” We’re heeding the sign and should be closing at the end of April and moving sometime in June.

Anyway… more soon! It’ll be great to catch up with everyone again!

What to do?

"I don't want to be saved, I want to be spent," Fritz Perls.

So, today, the topic is about time management. We atheists have no delusions of an afterlife, we have a wonderful life to focus on. Is it ethical to waste our short lives? Is it ethical to waste our lives on non-developmental tasks? On the other hand, is it ethical to rabidly seek productive activity every second? What is the balance between personal development and recreation? How does our example to and our appeasement of others fit into our ethical up-rightness?

I recently read a book called Mastery by George Leonard. I would not recommend it as a whole, but it did have an excellent chapter on "Getting Energy" that focused on the importance of effective living. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People also has a lot of good advice on the matter.

One thing I would suggest as a minimum standard is to do an activities audit and budget. Financial planners often suggest cataloging everything we spend money on. Knowing we only have a certain amount of money in the bank, we are careful to ensure we have the money we need. Time is a commodity as well, and for many of us, it is a commodity more scarce than money.

Do you spend 4 or 5 or 20 hours a week watching TV? How about sleep? How about the 12 blogs you like reading? Then start to think about all the things you've been meaning to do and how nice it would be to finally get to do them. As much as you might enjoy "Idol," how much would you rather lose 10 or 20lbs by walking during that time? These trade-offs can be very exciting. Cut off the most frivolous 10% or so and expand the most fulfilling 10%.

I recently had the cable turned off. Not to mention the calming effect it had on my nerves, I freed up several hours each week. That was just the first step. I feel like I'm honoring my life more and extracting even more enjoyment out of the life I have.

Jason

Abject Disappointment with my 24 Hours of Theism

Dear Bible ministry of prayer people,

A few days ago, I received an envelope from you containing the following objects: a paper prayer mat, a cheerfully underlined “God’s Holy Blessing” type letter, and a page of testimonies from those who followed your instructions and received either large amounts of money or other blessings (mostly large amounts of money).

This was not, however, the first time that I have been thus selected. I received my first prayer mat and associated papers in my mailbox approximately five years ago. I was quite surprised to learn God was planning on bestowing such wonders upon an atheist. However, the lure of financial gain and other holy treasures gave me pause, and I decided to give this “believing” stuff a try, at least for the 24 hour period specified in your letter. I followed your instructions and happily awaited my rewards.

I must say I was sorely disappointed for my effort, and feel that God must not, indeed, be as interested in bestowing his glory upon me as you led me to believe. I shall outline my disappointments for you, so you may fully understand the degree of God’s failure to meet my needs. First, I must call your attention to a section of page two of your letter. It reads:

Pray for my family and me for…

( ) My Soul
( ) A Closer Walk with Jesus

etc, etc… a bunch of other stuff that, as a nontheistic sort, didn’t interest me so much… but then….

( ) Confusion In My Home

!!!!!

I was terribly excited to see that I could ask the Lord for confusion in my home, something that I’m sure everyone covets (or maybe just prays for, seeing as coveting tends to be on the no no list). However, after dutifully checking the box and sending the letter back, I find that my household situation has only gotten less confusing! With the departure of a significant other (now an ex-significant other), his mistress, and his dog almost three years ago, I find myself in a significantly less confusing and generally more peaceful household. Why would God so ignore my pleas for chaos? WHY?

As for financial gain, with the said departure of ex, I find myself with $30,000 of student loan debt. Seeing as I did not have $30,000 of student loan debt three years ago, I must only conclude that either God hates me (this would really be rather harsh, as I did return the highly valuable paper prayer mat you enclosed with your last letter), or God has trouble telling the difference between positive and negative numbers. As a math tutor, I would be happy to help with the latter, but not if I would be smote for my efforts. Just how much pride cometh before fall? Does the joy that comes from possessing a more thorough knowledge of integers than God count as undue pride?

I digress. After my fruitless attempts at following your instructions, I think it’s time to resort to new methods of persuasion. Thus, I shall hold your prayer mat hostage until God does one of the following: (a) grants me my two (just two! I’m not greedy!) wishes of financial gain and household confusion (b) publicly admits that he doesn’t exist (c) signs up for math tutoring. Under the circumstances, I feel my requests are perfectly reasonable. I shall be eagerly awaiting God’s reply.

Yours truly,

Disappointed Ohio Atheist

Ethics of Common Courtesy

"They" of the traditional religions claim that they hold absolute knowledge and comprehensive ethics provided by their scriptures. All knowledge is contained in the scripture and from the scripture one can find all knowledge. Ethics are also fully contained, and all secular ethics arise directly from and can not stand without the ethics of scripture... so they say.

Now it seems to me that some extremely important points of modern ethics are totally overlooked by the ancient scriptures. Any Just God would by all means take care while collecting the basis of all ethics to make such notes as, "Be quiet" and "Quiet down, you rude SOB." Unfortunately, Ye Olde All Powerful Creator was somewhat vague.

Now, as we enter spring, and the birds chirp, and the sun warms the Earth, the motorcycles, hot rods, and sound systems come out. Rev the engine and pump up the volume, then go cruise down Main St, USA pissing off all the natives. We secular types can deduce by clear logic and empathy for our fellow beings, that it is uncivilized and downright rude to make available, purchase, or use to the detriment of others such things as mega sound systems and loud exhaust pipes.

Maybe I just have a personal vendetta against those who disturb me. That having been said, I think that we can objectively say that going to the store to find something that will be heard clearly by everyone within a 100-foot radius, and annoy the crap out of them, is unethical. It requires one to actively subordinate others for small pleasures despite the opportunity to get those pleasures in less-objectionable ways.

So there you have it, new secular ethics. We look at the world and make an assessment of right and wrong. No cheat sheets, no super-cops, no postmortem trials, just an effort to live together and make the best of the short life we have.

More than Half Full

My cup runneth over. I’m in the middle of running my business, selling my business, designing an e-learning space for a local nonprofit, purchasing a condo in Boston, and searching for a job in Boston. I’m having a good time; however, time itself seems to be in rather short supply at the moment. To clarify and correct my first sentence: my cup runneth over onto my counter and is making a bit of a sticky mess.

So, while I miss blogging and know I should keep with writing and all that good stuff, I’m going to continue to be mainly absent for the next month or so until things start to slow down a bit.

I hope everyone else’s cups are treating them well!

The Watchmaker’s Apprentice part 2

Previously, we determined that you had been stranded on a beach, found a few watches, made a few religions on your own, and then found a tribe and religion that offered some comfort and assistance. The story was the backdrop for examining the Watchmaker argument: Given Design. Therefore Creator.

It might be interesting to take a native’s perspective as they investigate the outsider’s magical “watch.” You, now the native, see the magical moving watch of your new friend. You determine that this watch, being not alive, must have a creator like the creator of your boats and bows. Given Design. Therefore Creator.

You determine that to make such a small, yet powerful object, this creator must have amazing and magical powers. Given Design. Therefore Powerful Creator.

You ask your friend about the watch and he provides you with a book. He declares it to be the watchmakers manual and from it you can learn what you need to know. Given Writings. Therefore Divine Word.

You can not actually read the book, so your friend ‘helps’ you. He explains some of the desires of the watchmaker, such as daily winding and protection from the rain. He also explains the location of the watchmaker, a place called “China”, and that the watchmaker has the power to make this and many other items. You fiercely follow the ‘user instructions’, worried that you will miss out on gifts or suffer due to breaking the watchmakers rules. Given Paranoia. Therefore Dogma.

You tell some of your friends of the benefits and “other items” that the watchmaker can provide. You tell them of the inviolable “usage instructions” your friend has translated for you. That they may also get benefits of the watchmaker if they follow the “usage instructions.” Some of your native friends are impressed and come to see the watch. Given Promises. Therefore Followers.

After a short time, your native friends appreciate the knowledge that you are bringing. They are happy about the promise of new gifts and often come to you for advice and counsel about what the watchmaker would want. Given Followers. Therefore Clergy.

Your friend has noticed what you are doing and explains that you may have misunderstood. After some time, you think you understand. You are sorry about missing out and go to tell some of the natives that you misunderstood. The ‘user instructions’ and the watch are not really so great. They are angry and want some of what you promised. Although you try to explain, some of them refuse to believe you and hold onto the “old ways.” Given Hope. Therefore Delusion.

Some of your native friends never give up about the watchmaker. Your and your outside friend and many of the others wonder at how they could still be confused, but they seem happy and so you leave them alone. After a time, you and your outsider friend pass on, but the promises of the watchmaker do not. A future expedition finds the remote island. There are standard divine statues, but they seem to have watches carved into their arms. The natives perform a daily prayer ritual called “winding” and tell of a great messiah who will one day return to take them all to salvation in China. Given Time. Therefore Legend.

One of the members of the expedition explains that you can go to a place called heaven if you put water on your head and just believe really hard, but the natives weren’t nearly gullible enough to believe that.

[Although I wrote this from scratch, I was quickly shown a passage in Dawkins’ book The God Delusion. This passage talks about a phenomenon called “Cargo Cults” in which natives deify sailors and the possessions they bring on cargo ships. In case you thought this was implausible, well apparently it does happen.]

The Watchmaker's Apprentice part 1

Let us assume for a moment that you, the reader, are stranded on a desert island. You see design in the world and theorize that, yes, there must indeed be a higher power responsible for this design. You have determined in fact that there is a higher being, although you are still a little unclear about the details. Given Design. Therefore Creator. You have extrapolated this principle from watch to universe. Let us return to the details and theorize about what practical conclusions one might draw, and how curious these conclusions might seem.

You are stranded on a beach and see a watch, concluding that there must be other intelligent life. You come closer only to find that the watch is actually a shiny rock on some kelp that gave the appearance of a rock. Your expectations and prior knowledge led you to jump to a conclusion prior to verifying evidence. Given Nothing. Therefore Creator.

Later, you have been without food and are in dire straights. You find another watch, concluding again that there must be civilization. Later, after continuing your search, you find food, eat, and regain your wits. You find the ‘watch’ was actually just a rock. Given Dire Straits. Therefore Creator.

Later, your newly-found food supply dwindles and you again find yourself in dire straights. In your state, you determine that it must have been the fake watch that led you to your initial success in finding food. You return to the ‘watch’, pick it up, and carry it with you believing that this watch will assist you. Given Coincidence. Therefore Personal Creator.

You later find food and a native tribe. They are tentative, but you move closer to their leader. They see on your arm a real watch. They see its hands moving for no apparent reason and determine you to be a magical being. Given Unknown. Therefore Powerful Creator.

As they bow and show deference, you unfortunately trip and fall on your face, showing your lack of divinity. They immediately drag you to their Gods, one of which is a body with a large eye, and the other of which is a body with a head. With their spears, they indicate clearly that you should worship. Given Threats. Therefore Worship. And Given Outsiders. Therefore Assimilation.

You defer, and, given no other alternative, you live with the tribe rather happily for a period of time. You adopt their customs, including worship. The comfort provided by their society gives you ample incentive to allow them the superstitions you know are wrong. Given Habit. Therefore Religion And Given Comfort. Therefore Compliance.

How many times has this played out in the past? Combinations of assumed magic, the unknown, coincidence, and assimilation all leading towards a pattern of organized religion. Independents wandered through difficult surroundings with little understanding of the world and happy for any opportunity to band together with others for protection.

Next, we'll examine the Watchmaker argument from the native’s perspective.

Atheism as Arrogance: Part II

The only people I fear
are those who never have doubts
Save us all from arrogant men,
and all the causes they're for
I won't be righteous again
I'm not that sure anymore

- “Shades Of Grey”, Billy Joel

Like Billy Joel (an atheist, by the way), people who never doubt their own belief systems concern me. I once stopped seeing a cute, lawyer-type* because he was annoyingly certain that he knew exactly how the world functioned and where he and everyone else fit into that world. It goes without saying that I could never have dated Ayn Rand.

Atheism is often pushed aside as the more obnoxious half-sibling of polite, well-behaved agnosticism. After all, since we are merely human and therefore not all knowing, isn’t it only reasonable to admit we might not know the “truth” of reality? Isn’t it possible there IS a god and we just don’t know it? Aren’t we being awwwwfully arrogant by declaring ourselves atheists instead of agnostics?

Sure, I’ll admit it: I’m not absolutely certain of anything. While I find it improbable, I suppose I could be a brain in a vat somewhere and only think I’m really living in this reality. Or, this reality could exist, but very, very smart aliens (or mice) might be staging my life as some sort of grand experiment. Or, maybe my life is as the “personal god” folks describe, and I live in a universe where god** has at least some degree control over my life and/or thoughts and just finds it a grand joke to not give me some sort of sign that he exists. (shrugs) Any of the above could be the case, I suppose.

However, to me, none of these maybes are relevant to the way I live. Frankly, the only “stuff” I have to evaluate this world is the result of my senses and thought processes, and the conclusions I can draw from such. I have no need to add a god into the equation, and so I don’t, just as I don’t decide I’m a brain in a vat just because it is a possibility. With a bit of imagination, I could conjure up no end of “reasons why I am here”, but which would I chose and where would I stop? It seems easier and far more logical to thoroughly explore what lies in front of me than to invent unnecessary “whys”. I exist. I’ll just go from there.

Sure, we natural-world minded rationalists change our minds about many things many, many times. Newton was right and then he wasn’t. We accept that as we learn more, ideas change. We constantly find new ways of evaluating the world and accept that sometimes our old evaluations were incorrect. This doesn’t shatter the idea of science nor does it make living a life based on our knowledge of the rational world arrogant. Through the processes of repetition and peer review, science constantly sets itself up to be proven wrong again and again and again. That’s okay. We’re satisfied with the movement towards correctness rather than correctness as a position.

All this flux doesn’t justify agnosticism. My atheism isn’t an elaborate construction involving multitudes of facts and assumptions—it’s an acceptance of the evidence gathered from the physical, sensory reality in which I reside. I don’t see evidence for Zeus or Allah or Jehovah or whoever. I didn’t see evidence for any of these gods yesterday or the day before or the day before. I highly doubt that such evidence will present itself tomorrow. I suppose I could be wrong. However, as described above, I could be wrong about a lot of things. I don’t wander around remaining agnostic about whether I might gain the power to levitate tomorrow or whether I’ll discover I’m really a Russian princess (or philosopher). Sure, I could be wrong about a lot, including whether or not there is a god. However, it’s just so darn improbable, it doesn’t seem worth the energy. Within the scope of what I find reasonable and likely, I’m happy to declare myself an atheist.



* I suppose, to be entirely honest, I should also disclose that he was a Republican. I’m ridiculously socially liberal and not so far behind in the economic areas either… but I’d like to at least pretend that I wouldn’t stop dating someone just because he was a Republican.

** Obviously, I could also never date god. How much more arrogant can one get than claims of omnipotence and omniscience?

Random Randomness

Mr. KA over at biblioblography tagged me for this meme quite a while ago. I’ve been playing hooky (again), but I’ve finally forced myself to sit down at the computer and write.

• I become ridiculously excited by grocery shopping, cooking, and just looking through recipes. I learned to cook largely because I spent eight years as a vegan (I’m still vegetarian) and found it terribly difficult find good vegan food.


• I once backed into an SUV because it wasn’t a goat. I used to have pet goats who would just run around my house nibbling on my lawn, part of which was an alfalfa field. Before backing out of my garage, I would always glance into my rear-view mirror to be sure there wasn’t a goat in my driveway. One morning, I glanced back, saw no goats, put my car into reverse, and listened to the trunk of my car crumple against the SUV that I had seen but that my brain had entirely ignored because it wasn’t, indeed, a goat. The SUV was fine. So were the goats. My little Honda hybrid spent two weeks in the shop.


• My favorite local club is a leather bar, complete with a whipping wall. What can I say- the people there just act so much more “normal” than those at more traditional clubs and bars.


• Rick Finch, one of the founders of K.C. and the Sunshine Band, is sleeping in my bed. Okay, to be more accurate, he is sleeping in a bed that I bought and have not sold or given away, but that is located in a house that I no longer occupy. I do not sleep in the bed with Rick Finch; however, it sounds much more risqué when worded in the first fashion.


• I’m moving to Boston in June! I once spent a summer in Boston and absolutely loved it. It’ll be lovely to be back. Now, I just have to find a job…

As for tagging new people to complete the meme…. It seems most everyone I know has already been tagged (that’s what I get for waiting so long). So, my excuse is that I took virtual antibiotics and always virtually coughed into my virtual elbow and thus successfully avoided passing along the meme. Anyone who wants to catch the meme is welcome to have a lick of the lollypop that I carefully contaminated while I was sick, just in case.

Oh Zeus!

ATHENS, Greece - After all these centuries, Zeus may have a few thunderbolts left. A tiny group of worshippers plans a rare ceremony Sunday to honor the ancient Greek gods, at Athens' 1,800-year-old Temple of Olympian Zeus. Greece's Culture Ministry has declared the central Athens site off-limits, but worshippers say they will defy the decision.

"These are our temples and they should be used by followers of our religion," said Doreta Peppa, head of the Athens-based Ellinais, a group campaigning to revive the ancient religion.

(skip a few paragraphs)

Greece's archaic religion is believed to have several hundred official followers, mainly middle-aged and elderly academics, lawyers and other professionals. They typically share a keen interest in ancient history and a dislike for the Greek Orthodox Church.

(skip a few paragraphs)

Peppa's group, dedicated to reviving worship of the 12 ancient gods, was founded last year and won a court battle for official state recognition of the ancient Greek religion.

Those who seek to revive the ancient Greek religion are split into rival organizations which trade insults over the Internet. Peppa's group is at odds with ultra-nationalists who view a revival as a way to protect Greek identity from foreign influences.

They can't even agree on a name for the religion: One camp calls it Ancient-Religion, another Hellenic Religion.

- Zeus worshippers demand access to temple

Administrative Note

I’ve changed the “official” domain of this blog to www.irreverentmusings.com. The old address, aviaana.blogspot.com, will continue to forward here, but I’d appreciate it if those with links could update them to the new address.

Many thanks!

Leading Evidence the Universe Wasn’t Intelligently Designed

1. Pi isn’t three. If the universe were intelligently designed, not only would certain bible verses imply that pi is three, but it actually WOULD be three, rather than a student-baffling irrational number.

2. Atheists exist. As one of those with less “god gene” than others, I often marvel at the fact that if there were an intelligent designer, he did a darn poor job of designing me (and many others) as good little believers. Want people to acknowledge your divine presence? Design them in a way that encourages such! If I had a marquee on my index finger that constantly explained to me the wonders of the divine world, I’d be far more convinced.

3. London, England is realllllly far away from Columbus, Ohio. Pfff. Why would this be? A god with sense would realize that those from the Midwest clearly need regular excursions to London, and thus would have placed them in closer proximately. Same with Antarctica and the Caribbean. Clearly, these are compliments to one another and should be within walking distance so when one gets sick of one climate, one can visit the other.

4. Women don’t come with a mute button. (blinks) Wait. Not only did I definitely NOT come up with that last one, but the creator of that last sentence will certainly be sleeping on the couch for at least a month. Let me replace it with: if there were an intelligent designer, men with a predilection towards making comments such as the one above would have mechanical devices in their heads that would allow their significant others to shock them when they said such. (nods) Much better.

5. Men have no vibrating genitals. None. How ridiculous and poorly designed is that? Clearly, if we were designed, the designer either wasn’t omnipotent or wasn’t benevolent. Either way--- a ridiculous oversight!

Okay, so, title not withstanding, these might not be the leading reasons why the universe couldn’t possibly be intelligently designed. Want to explore some other reasons? Check out Wikipedia’s Argument from poor design. It’s very remotely possible that their reasons are a bit more scientific than mine. Remotely.

Atheism as Arrogance: Part I

First, a few notes:

• Monotheists don’t call the belief that they have correctly identified the one true god out of the thousands possible arrogance. They call it faith.



• Even those who like to point out, “well, you can’t prove there isn’t a god,” tend to not call those who have a lack of a belief in, say, unicorns arrogant. They call it realistic.

Atheism, however, seems to be oh-so-often equated with arrogance. With the release of a new book from each, Dawkins and Harris have been getting a lot of press as the new, in-your-face variety of “atheist evangelicals.” I’ve been recently making my way through Dawkins’ newest book. With the title The God Delusion, it’s clearly not intended for a theistic audience. However, I could imagine a wavering agnostic, or even a certain sort of “spiritual but not religious” appreciating and benefiting from reading it. Is it arrogant, though?

ar•ro•gance
Offensive display of superiority or self-importance; overbearing pride.

- Dictionary.com

The key word in the definition above is “offensive.” None of us have 20-20 vision when it comes to perceiving the world around us; we all wear glasses of some variety, tinted by a mesh of factors drawn from our genetics and experiences. The statements and positions I might characterize as offensive are entirely different from those another person might categorize as such.

Even with my atheist-tinted lenses, I suppose I still see phrases such as “an act of intellectual high treason” (Dawkins pg 19) as possible hyperbole, even if not precisely arrogant. Even when prefaced by “in my opinion” (as the above statement is in his book), phrases like this need to be read with a strong British accent to avoid sounding overdramatic.

According to Dawkins, “God, in the sense defined, is a delusion.” Dawkins also writes that he won’t go out of his “way to offend, but nor shall I don kid gloves to handle religion any more gently than I would handle anything else.” (pg 27) I find this fair and think he is correct in insisting that religion not be treated as an unchallengeable subject (as it often is). However, when you compare god to garden fairies (as he does), you do run the risk of offending those who don’t believe their religion is the same as children’s fantasy.

Dawkins, to some, might be considered offensive. What about atheism itself—is the entire concept offensive? Well, that seems to depend entirely on the potential offend-ee. Atheism might offend people by indicating that they are, in fact, not correct. However, most religions (and all monotheistic ones) by default do the same. Atheism certainly isn’t the only spoil-sport of religious belief--- clashing religions manage to “offend” each other in this way quite well on their own.

So, what about the rest of the definition? Is atheism a position of superiority? Believing you hold a correct answer to a question is not in itself posturing superiority. If this is all it takes to be classified as arrogant, all true believers of whatever faith are certainly at least as arrogant as atheists. We claim that there is no proof. They claim that faith should be enough. (shrugs)

How about self-importance? Well, it seems to me that believing you are personally blessed by a doting god might reek of self-importance a bit more than the quiet satisfaction of knowing you are working yourself to shape a better existence for yourself and others.

Finally, does atheism involve undue pride? (shrugs) Though I was the one who asked it, the question itself baffles me. Pride in what in particular? It’s a lack of a belief. Pride in that?

Though it might be fashionable to say otherwise, I don’t know many people who really think all atheists are superior, self-important beings with a sense of overbearing pride. Most acknowledge that some are, while some aren’t... just like theistic folks. However, it’s still so terribly trendy (especially in the news) at the moment to latch onto particular atheists, declare them arrogant, and often extend the label to entire group in one dramatic sweep. Oh well. At least this gives me a good excuse to cut in front of my inferiors in grocery lines without guilt and prattle on about my many talents without shame. After all, I’m an atheist--- I must be arrogant.

Thoughts the “tenability” of atheism versus agnosticism to follow soon…

"Above all, this is a question of conscience. Using the initiative process to give a minority fewer freedoms than the majority, and to inject the state into fundamentally private affairs, is a dangerous precedent, and an unworthy one for this Commonwealth. Never in the long history of our model Constitution have we used the initiative petition to restrict freedom. We ought not start now."

"We have work to do over the next year to turn this around. I am heartened by the fact that the overwhelming majority of the members of the Legislature - a margin of over 2 to 1 - voted to move on. I pledge to do what I can to build on that momentum, so that our Constitution will continue to stand for liberty and freedom, and not discrimination."

- Deval Patrick, Massachusetts Governor-elect on the Massachusetts Legislature's decision to vote on a measure to advance a gay marriage ban to the ballot. Patrick is pro same-sex marriage.

Separation of Church and State, No Excuses!

(While this post is technically by dday76, I couldn’t quite keep my fingers out of it. Aviaa-ian inserts are marked with italics. BTW- this post is almost entirely facetious.)

I was in Rome the other day and thought I would pop over to the Vatican to make sure there was no mischief. I walked into the courtyard, saw the people, a big fountain, and some enormous, really expensive looking buildings they built after solving world hunger... and, oh, what's this? A nativity scene? This is government-owned land! How dare they! This huge display flies in the face of Church-State Separation. Angrily shaking my fist, I vowed to follow up with a stern letter to the local magistrate.

Yes, I’m sure the Pope will be very interested in hearing such concerns. Heaven forbid the Vatican promote religion or religious displays! Perhaps he just wasn’t aware such clear conflict of interest was occurring on the property?

By the way, if you haven’t followed the link to look at the picture, you absolutely should. Facetious or not, we were really there…

On the other hand, if these were pious people, maybe I could also benefit from their blessings. I went over to the fountain, tossed a coin in, and wished really, really hard for world peace and just a few small things for myself, Amen.

Clearly, your time at the Vatican was better spent than mine. I just wandered around pondering the items one would include on a Rome/Vatican purity test:

__ had sex on an ancient monument? (3 pts)
__ had sex in a cathedral? (5 pts) with a nun/priest? (10 pts) with the Pope? (50 pts)

… and so forth.

When talking with a local resident later, I found this wasn't the correct way to do one's wishing, or as they call it "praying" at the Vatican. They said something about kneeling and clasping one's hands together, so I noted that for the next time. I'm not sure how well it works though. I came across a young girl literally in the shadow of the Vatican, on her knees, hands clasped, head bowed, just praying her little heart out. But her plastic cup barely had one Euro in it. Almost an hour later, she was still on the same sidewalk and her god's grace hadn't made much headway in filling the plastic cup. Hmm... she perhaps should have been wearing only one sandal or offering up a gourd or such.

God works in myssstttteeerious ways. It makes perfect sense that all present-day miracles are indistinguishable from chance and coincidence, while reports of past miracles of floods, plagues, and the like were so much more… well… miraculous! Helping beggars at the Vatican? Clearly too obvious a miracle for the new, “subtle” version of god.

Happy New Year!

I hope everyone had a fun-filled evening of amusement and mild debauchery yesterday... or, like me, thrilled themselves even more by lying in bed with the flu, sipping Gatorade. Either way, Happy New Year. I’m back from flitting around Europe and shall be posting more regularly once again, barring the effects of natural disaster and distracting hobbies.

As of today, my significant other/concubine/domestic partner type will be occasionally posting and co-blogging as dday76. I promise his posts will be witty, clever, and generally amusing. Or, if for some reason they aren’t such, I promise to withhold sex as punishment. What can I say- quality control is my passion.

Anyway, promised new posts shall be appearing over the next few days!