I’ve been told I need to learn to continue moving forward while merging. The speaker meant it literarily; I was driving in New York City for the first time. Whenever I realized I needed to be in another lane, I’d first slow practically to a halt and only then glance around to see if there were any gaps in traffic for me to slide into. I’m sure all the local drivers had great fun rolling their eyes and grimacing at my Ohio license plates.*
I also need to develop better figurative driving skills. When facing large decisions, I tend to throw all my energy into the need to change, and relatively little into continuing on with the daily process of living. I try to make decisions happen so quickly that I forget to consider whether they are practical before shifting into “change mode.”
The person who subleases part of my office gave me thirty days notice last Monday. This throws me into a bit of a financial tizzy. My options: find someone else to sub-lease the space, find some other way to earn that additional amount of money, or buy myself out of my lease and find a full-time job. Any of the options could work, though one and three are likely the most practical.
I’m not sure which direction to merge. My immediate impulse is to pick a lane and try to find a way in. I like making decisions and then following through with them. I like feeling in control of my life. However, if I pick a lane without first looking for openings, then my only option is to stop and wait until something opens up. This is often what I do, but potentially not the best choice in this situation.
Instead, I’m working to create options. I’ve sent out my resume to companies in Austin, London, and Boston. I’m continuing to market summer programs, though I’m not certain I’ll be around to run them. I’ve started advertising for a new sub-leaser. Something will open up.
In the meantime, I’m going keep moving forward and trust that if I find an appealing gap in traffic, I’ll be able to merge at full speed.
* I’ve gotten better. I’d also like to take this moment to point out that in my hometown about 43.57% of the population stops at the end of exit ramps. I’m sure I give them much the same looks of disbelief as I was receiving in NYC.
