I greatly dislike buying romantic greeting cards. I spent an hour this morning browsing through a sea of love, love, FOREVER, love, FOREVER, SOUL MATE, love, love, NEVERENDING LOVE, love, DESTINY, love, love, FATE, love, FOREVER. I became so sick of looking for the correct card for a significant other’s birthday that I deliberately bought a card that was all wrong and plan to cross out the parts I don’t like and replace them with new messages. I’ve also decided my skills are apparently needed in the card making business. So, here it goes... my first line of romantic greeting cards:
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(front of card just has a picture of sexy lingerie)
(inside of card)
I'm just using you for sex.
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(front of card)
I almost (heart) you more than I (heart) my job.
(inside of card)
Almost.
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(If you’re reading this J, the above card was not intended to poke fun at you.)
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(front of card)
I’ve been thinking about our relationship a lot lately...
(inside of card)
... and I’ve decided that you’re especially particularly nice.
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(But yes, J, the above card was especially particularly intended to poke fun at you.)
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(front of card)
I'll love you forever...
(inside of card)
... or at least until I run off with someone better.
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